Mental Anarchy

50 Interesting Things About ME!

2006-12-06T08:00:00.000-08:00

I don't know how interesting they really are but here they go anyways.

1. Height? 5'10"
2. Have you ever smoked heroin? No, I didn't even know you could smoke heroin.
3. Do you own a gun? Not yet, but I plan on getting one eventually.
5. Do you get nervous before meeting the parents? Yes, but I'm always little nervous meeting new people.
6. What do you think of hot dogs? They taste good with sour kraut, swiss cheese and mustard. Yummmmmmmm.
7. What’s your favorite Christmas song? Silent Night.
8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Coffee or Hot Tea, sometimes Sierra Mist.
9. Can you do push ups? A few.
10. Is your bathroom clean? Let’s see, I live with two men, one mini-man, two cats and one bathroom? When I do clean it, it stays clean for a total of two seconds.
11. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry? My birthstone ring I got from my brother on my 16th birthday.
12. Do you like painkillers? Not usually but if I'm in enough pain I like to be knocked out.
14. Do you have A.D.D.? Most of the time.
16. Middle Name? Dawn
17. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment? 1. I need Christmas money. 2. I hope I get my Christmas bonus. 3. These punks up here haven't mentioned my Christmas bonus, they better be telling me something.
18. Name the last 3 things you have bought: Some gas, some pizza and a stove.
19. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink: Hot Tea, Diet Cherry Coke and H2O
Not sure where questions 20 & 21 are......
22. Current worry? Whether or not I'm going to get my Christmas bonus.
23. Current hate? Christmas shopping, ironic isn’ t it? I love Christmas shopping but I hate the crowded shopping centers. Every year I say I'm going to start my shopping in July but you see it never gets done.
24. Favorite place to be? In my bed with a book in my hands and a kitty at my feet.
25. Least favorite place to be? At work.
26. Where would you like to go? Denver
27. Do you own slippers? Yep, at least four pair
28. What shirt are you wearing? My new red winter sweater with the hood. It's so cute.
29. Do you burn or tan? Neither, I try to avoid direct sun when possible.
30. Favorite color(s)? Purple, Lilac and Gold
33. What songs do you sing in the shower? What ever is on the radio at the time. I usually listen to 92Q while I'm in the shower.
34. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child? Nothing really. I don't remember being afraid at night.
35. What’s in your pockets right now? Change
36. Last thing that made you laugh? One of my coworkers just told a joke about some birds, that was real funny, can't remember how to tell it but it had me laughing.
38. Worst injury you’ve ever had? When I was little I tripped down some stairs in a furniture store and hit my head on a table and was knocked unconscious and I had a concussion. I still remember it and I was like 3 or 4.
40. How many TVs do you have in your house? Four
41. Who is your loudest friend? Siobhan. She used to be louder, but she's quieter now that she's older.
42. Who is your most silent friend? I don't think I have any silent friends I'm the quiet one.
43. Does someone have a crush on you? Sure, why not.
44. Do you wish on shooting stars? Yep, if I see them.
45. What is your favorite book? Amazing Grace by Me :)
46. What is your favorite candy? Lindt’s Truffles or Ferrier Roche. I love them both equally.
47. What song do/did you want played at your wedding? I would like for someone to sing At Last by Etta James and dance to So High by John Legend. (can you tell I'm planning a wedding right now?)
48. What song do you want played at your funeral? I don't want a funeral.
49. What were you doing 12 AM last night? Hee hee
50. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up this morning? Already?

Thanksgiving update!!

2006-11-29T09:02:00.000-08:00

My Thanksgiving holiday proved to be relaxing. I needed a vacation and I had a mini 4 day vacation. Wednesday night was spent cooking and cooking and cooking so that Thursday all we would have to do was eat. (See the logic!) Anyways, Thursday. I slept late then we all ate around 2pm then I went back to sleep then I got up and ate again then I went back to sleep. Perfect huh. I thought so. Friday we just hung around the house, Hubby had to work the whole weekend so I painted Christmas pictures with my step son and we walked to the park but there were these bad kids up that the park. They were like 6-7 years old with two older maybe 13-14 year old with them and they were cussing up a storm. I'm talking about cussing each other out while they played football. My stepson was by himself so he kept wanting to go play with them but I didn't want him too so I had to keep him distracted from then. There was this little girl that was with them was riding her little pink bike around with her little pink barretts in her hair, she looked about 6, one of the boys ran over and messed with her and she yelled 'Leave me the hell alone before I kick your ass!' So at that point it was time to go. I couldn't believe those kids cussing like that and there weren't any adults up there so they were just saying what ever they wanted. I'd hate to see what they act like in school.

So anyways, Saturday morning was spent cleaning but it was such an unseasonably warm day and since the park thing didn't go over to well the day before, I decided to try a new location so I called my "sister" and we took my stepson and my god son to the park. It was right next to the river and we were the only ones there. It was so much fun. The playground was shaped like a pirate's ship so we played Pirates of the Carribean. They were the pirates and we were the princesses that needed to be rescued. It was hilarious. I think I had more fun then they did. I enjoyed being 5 for a day. Before we went to the park though, we stopped by Walmart to get some snacks and juice for the park and we also walked through the toy section to pick out the toys they wanted to put on their list for santa. He picked out a bike like this so I have to make sure I get it for him. I just hate that we live on a hill with no sidewalks because it's going to be hard to teach him how to ride it. I guess we will have to take it down the street or the his school parking lot which is right down the street as well. I'll probably get him some skates to since he's been asking for some. He also asked for a snow board but what exactly would he do with a snow board in Nashville. We are talking about moving to CO next summer so maybe next christmas we might be able to work out that snow board. I'd be happy with some snow. Anyways, while a WalMart the local Lion's Club had a Santa out side and since they had the cheapest prices on pictures with santa that I'd seen we ended up taking pictures with santa. It was $10 for a cd with 6 poses so my "sister" and I went in half and got the disk then went in walmart and got copys for $0.28 a piece. Good deal! The kids were so excited to see Santa and they wanted to make sure they were able to sit on Santa's lap and tell him everything they wanted.

They look a little scared in the picture but really they were so excited. However, when it came time to take the picture all we got were these fake cheese smiles. Oh, did I mention that us grown kids took a pic with santa too. Santa was a little perverted and a little to happy to have us on his lap. Just kidding!!

Saturday ended after the park with sandwiches at my sister's house.

Sunday, the last day of my vacation. That morning I got up, "hubby" had to work again. So my hubby's brother (who is staying with us temporarily, I'll talk more about that later) help me and the stepkid put up the Christmas tree. He was more help then the stepbaby who was more interested in what would be going under the tree then what went on the tree. Then I taught him how to play Mancala, it was pretty fun. I taught my stepson to and he pretty much got the gist of it. Then we played the learning games that I'd had on the computer for the longest and had yet to show him. He loved them. They were fun yet made him work on his letters and numbers so I was happy. That afternoon my "sister" called and said she was taking my godson to the library and wanted to know if we wanted to go so of course we went. We checked out a few movies for him to watch, Bob the Builder and Clifford then we picked out some books.

So far we've only read the Christmas ones. I love the Night Before Christmas, I could read it every day. It's the traditional Christmas story. Anyways, now that I have my library card back (fines from freshman year of college finally disappeared, shh!) we will be making the library a weekly thing.

Anyways, that was my Thanksgiving break. My birthday is on Sunday but I'm broke so I probably won't be doing anything. 27 is that important anyways (sniff sniff) just kidding. My parent's are coming for Christmas and I can't wait, I haven't seen them in almost 2 years. Tragic, ain't it. Considering that we are so close. Thank god for MCI unlimited long distance. I hope Santa brings me a digital camera for Christmas. I really need one. Now I'm rambling. Bye!

WTF?!

2006-09-28T10:09:00.000-07:00

I swear I've about had it up to here with this world. What the hell is wrong with people? I've never been one to say these are the end times because I feel trully that can't be predicted. And I don't believe this is the end of the world but I do feel mankind is in for a drastic change. I just read about another school shooting in CO. What in the world made a grown man (53 years old) to walk into a high school, pick six girls to molest or whatever he did to them then shoot one and shoot himself? It was bad enough when students were upset and took it out on classmates but for some man to just walk in off the street just shot chills through my body.
Man has lost all sense of decency and really my plan to move to the mountains in a cabin and homeschool my kids is becoming more and more real. There has been a severe shift in the brainwaves of people. Life has become meaningless. And what scares me the most is the comments that come from the people who know the people who do things like this. It bothers me to hear a relative say, 'I never expected him to do this' or 'He was so normal, he worked, I never thought he'd do this.' Where are the warning signs? Where's the 'I knew he was crazy', 'He should have been locked up years ago'. What is making seemingly normal people do wildly abnormal things? Is it the pollution? Is it the chemicals in processed foods? Is it the acceptance of violence and cursing on TV? What has happened? There is an explaination for this. How do we get to the root of the problem of humans? What will it take to change? If I were God I'd wipe the earth clean and try again. But since I want to live, I'm determined to find out what went wrong and what we can do to change before God or Mother Nature decides to wipe this beautiful earth clean of these parasitic humans destroying each other and destroying earth.

Remembrance

2006-09-11T13:08:00.000-07:00

Five years ago today things changed for everyone. Not just some, everyone. I still remember the gapped mouth stares of that day, the unbelievable head shakes of those who couldn't believe people could be so cruel and the looks of mutual sympathy from everyone I saw that day. I remember thinking we finally having one of those 'I remember where I was' days that my parents had. Where were you when President Kennedy was assassinated? Where were you when Pearl Harbor was bombed? Where were you when King was killed? Where were you when the towers fell?

I remember calling my dad that morning because I didn't understand the significance of the pentagon or the twin towers. Why those particular buildings? He explained it simply. The pentagon is the heart of the American military and the World Trade Center is the heart of American finance. At that time, I was living with my two roommates, Cindy and Siobhan, and we were all up getting ready for our 8am classes. When I heard Cindy yell, 'Turn on your TV.' We tuned in to see. One tall building with smoke pouring from it on one half of the screen and the pentagon smoking on the other half. I remember being confused. Not quite understanding what I was looking at. Someone flew planes into those buildings? Why? I left for class that morning and arriving on campus was odd because no one was in class. Everyone was huddled around the TVs in the student center. It was then that I called my dad. Stunned and shocked we watched the towers fall one by one and the rest of the day I was glued to the TV trying to gain some understanding.

Sometimes I like to send myself into a world without pain. I like to believe that no one suffers. That God takes their pain before they feel it. And only if you are lucky enough to live that you feel pain. I hate to believe that some one agonizes in pain only to later die. I like to think that everyone in those buildings and in those planes just magically disappeared before their pain was felt. I think it's easier to believe there was a reason for the death if you take away the element of pain. But for some I think its the thought of the pain that causes them to feel. I don't need the thought of pain.

9/11 and all the controversy that surrounds it has been an obsession of mine for the past five years. I've read everything I could get my hands on about the hijackers, the planning, the planes, the building designs. I read every conspiracy theory out there but the fact still remains 2,997 people didn't return home that day. And that's the heart of the issue. Regardless, if the government had anything to do with what happened, regardless if President W knew before hand what would be happening that day, the loss of life that day was unimaginable, the brutally of humans against humans is inconceivable and unnecessary.

9/11 was a wake up call for those of us who survived it. Some got the call that day only to hang up the phone the following day. Some of us are still on the line wondering what do we do next. What else has to happen before people realize? I do have to say though across the nation September 11, 2001 was a quiet evening. Everyone spoke a little softer, hugged a little longer, stayed a little closer.

Does it take massive tragedy and loss of life to make people stop and think about their actions? Are we destined to hurt because that is the only way we can truly love? What else has to happen before desensitized people get their senses back?

So it begins

2006-08-01T14:33:00.000-07:00

Spent all day yesterday painting and cleaning and we still have tons of work to do but its all coming together. Yah!

Outside front. Had to keep those fans blowing out paint fumes, didn't want to pass out.

Livingroom. Disregard the dirty man, he was working hard that day and this was about an hour after we'd got caught outside in the rain trying to get a damn window but that's a whole 'nother story.

Hallway into bathroom.

Kitchen. Fridge and Stove coming on Friday. Still haven't painted the wall above the cabinets.

Side door, to outside from the kitchen. I don't know why I like this door so much. I painted it but I still need to do the window frame.

My little Ant mans room. It's the front room. He'll be back with us for the school year and I can't wait. He's going to kindergarten. I've missed him so much this summer. It's crazy how you get so attached to some one else's kid. Well, I guess he's like mine too almost. Anyways, with this place being such a steal he's going to be spoiled rotten this year. He deserves it, which is a whole 'nother story also.

Anyways, I didn't get any pictures of the master bedroom since we didn't do much in there any how. Carpet will be installed on the 15th, then we will move the furniture in. Best believe the walls will not stay white. I already have plans for color. I will be adding some after pictures hopefully and some outside pictures once I do what I want to do to the lawn. It's small, but you have to start some where. We had to do some work on it but we are paying pennies for it. So we will probably stay there for about a year or two then rent it out and move on to bigger and better things!

Love, Peace, and Blessings!

My Space

2006-07-12T07:04:00.000-07:00

Where the hell have I been? Oh yeah. Myspace. I've neglected my first true blog, and for this I apologize profusely. But I've been on Myspace. Myspace is getting a bad rap from all the pedifile charges and whatnot but that can happen anywhere, but what can happen anywhere is me getting in touch with a childhood friend I use to play dolls and build forts in the backyard with. I have found so many people from high school on there. It's so fun. Of course I'm in a committed relationship therefore I have no need to meet people and find out they are nothing like the described. So if you go looking for something you will probably find it, that's all I have to say about that.

Other things have had my mind occupied as well, here's the run down:

1. Wedding has been postponed until April 28, 2007 because we aren't ready (financially, not emotionally). You have that dream wedding idea when you are a little girl and when it comes time to plan a wedding you think everything will just fall into place, not so. I have no dress yet nor have I been able to set up the caterer, the decorations, blah blah blah. It would be easier to elope but I want a wedding.

2. Because the wedding date has changed the move date to Colorado has changed as well. Bah!
3. Trying to find us an apartment to move to to save some money.

4. Summer is here, trying to plan a camping trip soon.

5. College for fall, online or not online. Online classes are a lot easier but there is an extra cost. Since I work at the university and get 9 credit hours free so actual classes would make more sense.

6. Parents 50th wedding anniversary on June 29, 2007, big party planning up to me. (On top of an April wedding, maybe I should become wedding/party planner, sounds fun!)
7. I think my cats have fleas (again, ugh!)

8. We need a second car like yesterday.
Well, I guess that's enough,

Only in America

2006-06-23T11:13:00.000-07:00

I know I complain a lot about this country we live in. I see lots and lots and LOTS of changes that need to be made. I’m afraid that Bush is going to cause us to be blown of the face of the earth with his idiotic antics. I consider myself a peaceful anarchist. I think the government needs a complete overhaul and all the corruption needs to be done away with. I threaten to move to Canada every other day. I think combining Canada, the US, and Mexico is the best idea that Bush ever mentioned but I doubt it will ever happen. I would love to be rich and buy an island somewhere to create my utopia where there is no violence, no guns, and every one must have a certain mindset to live there.

But then on my way to work this morning, I heard the sounds of Tejano music bumping from a red truck with fringe hanging around the windshield and the name Sanchez on the back window, I saw a two muslim women covered from head to toe walking in the heat with backpacks on laughing and talking, I saw a Nigerian man with a ‘Eat More Goat’ sticker on the back of his car, I stopped at my favorite gas station and met the Pakistani owners brand new beautiful baby girl for the first time and he actually let me hold her. I finally arrived at work where I was greeted by my Jamaican boss. I typed something for one of the Indian professors, I opened the door for two of the White contractors fixing our new computer lab, I helped a Haitian graduate student fill out his graduate school graduation application, I was taught that ‘Asante Sana’ means thank you in Swahili by one of my Kenyan co-workers, I drunk coffee and talked about Taylor Hicks’ new Ford commercial with one of my Black co-American Idol enthusiast co-workers, and I was told congratulations on my upcoming wedding by a Chinese grad student who happens to be a newlywed herself.

At my desk alone I started thinking, America is great. There is no other country in the world with a mixed population like ours. I come in contact with so many different cultures everyday as I’m sure everyone else does in America and I feel that’s how it is supposed to be. Racism is for the ignorant because you cut yourself out of learning about new and different things. Tasting foods you’ve never tasted, Hearing music you’ve never heard, learning languages you never knew, and Loving people you’ve never loved. It’s all so beautiful. It’s all the way it should be.

Fun w/Photoshop

2006-06-07T17:42:00.000-07:00

I finally got photoshop! Yah! I've been waiting to forever to get it and I've been having a lot of fun playing with it.

Before After

Before After

more to come

My Personal DNA

2006-05-31T10:29:00.000-07:00

Faithful Artist

Your appreciation of beauty, ability to think abstractly, and innovativeness make you an ARTIST.
Never one to be tied to a particular way of doing things, you let your imagination guide you in discovering different possibilities. You would rather seek out new experiences than stick to your everyday habits, taking in as much of the world as possible. Your eye for beauty and your willingness to consider different perspectives make your creative efforts interesting—even though you may not realize this yourself. You prefer to think about things before voicing your opinion, considering a wide, diverse range of options. While there are forms and styles that you prefer, you tend to keep an open mind when it comes to your artistic preferences.
You are curious about things, interested in the "why" more than the “how.” You have an active imagination that leads you express yourself in a distinct way. You're not one to force your positions on a group, and you tend to be fair in evaluating different options. You're not afraid to let your emotions guide you, and you're generally considerate of others' feelings as well. You prefer to have time to plan for things, feeling better with a schedule than with keeping plans up in the air until the last minute. You tend to believe that things happen for a reason, and that not everything is under our control.

Your trust in others, respect for tradition, and caring nature make you FAITHFUL. Maintaining a few intimate relationships is more important to you than knowing a lot of people, and you share a lot with your close friends. Those who have managed to get close to you value your camaraderie, and they know that they can trust you with anything; you're a good listener.
While you can usually see several sides of an argument, you often have a strong opinion as to which side is correct—the order of things is usually clear to you. Your perspective on the world is based on careful observation, and you know a lot about how people feel in—and react to—many situations. Your exploration of others' feelings has led you to believe that although people generally act appropriately, having clear social rules is very important to a functional society.
Time alone for reflection is important to you—you are introspective and aware of your own feelings. Faithful is as faithful does—you expect those with whom you are close to be loyal to you, and you take betrayal of your trust very seriously.
You're not one to force your positions on a group, and you tend to be fair in evaluating different options. You're not afraid to let your emotions guide you, and you're generally considerate of others' feelings as well. You prefer to have time to plan for things, feeling better with a schedule than with keeping plans up in the air until the last minute.

2006-05-31T08:20:00.000-07:00

Go See This Movie When it Comes to a Theater Near You.

Oops, I forgot.

2006-05-23T09:16:00.000-07:00

*Wedding Update*

Catering - check

Photographer - check

DJ - check (kinda)

Location (s) - check

Registry - check

Save the Date cards - made but not yet sent

Now, I have to work on my dress and the decorations which my parents will be paying for (yah!). Honeymoon reservations, hotel reservations for out of town family, Bridesmaids and flower girl dresses. Hubby needs tux and groomsmen tuxes which he seems to think can be saved until the last minute. Invitations need to be made which I am making myself (thank you very much) and all the wedding favors need to be made as well. I have so much work to do and its so hard not having my mom in town with me. Bah! Oh well, gotta do what you gotta do.

For real For real

2006-05-23T08:31:00.000-07:00

I guess I should actually blog since this is well, a blog.

Anyways, the past two weeks or so has been insanely nerve racking. Lease is up and they are going up too high on our rent since they remodeled so its time to go. I hate moving. I especially hate moving somewhere that I really don't like. I mean it's ok. Two bed, one bath duplex. I'll save about $200 a month. I don't really like the area but maybe now I can buy more shoes. Just kidding. "Hubby" firmly stated that this move is just for a year or so to save money so we can buy a house. Smart, I guess. But I've never really lived in the hood before. I'm not trying to get shot. Just kidding, it's not like that. There are alot more kids and teenagers around though playing basketball in the street and stuff like that. Oh well. I'm looking on the bright side, if I can find it. Another down side, I didn't mention that I have two cats. Maybe I should have but I'll just wait and see what happens. I can't, can not, get rid of them. Not gonna happen so we will see. I mean look at em. How could I get rid of my furbabies?

Of course this is an old picture when they were much smaller. They are both about 3 times this size now but the cuteness is still there.
Anyways, I read something earlier today that told me to look at the bright side of things and that's what I'm trying to do. There is a plan out there for me.

Love, Peace, and Blessings!

I...

2006-05-18T07:41:00.000-07:00

I am ... Me
I said ... love is the answer
I want ... peace of mind
I wish ... things were different
I hate ... ignorance
I miss ... my parents
I fear ... premature death
I hear ... voices (just kidding)
I wonder ... where we are going
I regret ... not finishing college (yet)
I am not ... normal
I dance ... when I'm alone
I sing ... loudly and probably not that good
I cry ... at the drop of a hat
I'm not always ... nice
I made ... a big pillow for my living room
I write ... constantly
I confuse ... wants and needs
I need ... money, seriously
I should ... probably get a second job
I start ... alot of projects
I finish ... about half of them
I believe in ... miracles
I know ... entirely too much
I can ... sew
I can't ... stand child molestors and people who are cruel to animals
I see ... happiness
I blog ... for fun, that's all
I read ... a lot
I am aroused by ... his eyes
I get pissed off when ... George W talks
I find ... out something new every day
I like ... sunny days
I love ... love

I Learning!

2006-05-04T15:38:00.000-07:00

Like my new layout? I did it all by myself (kinda)

Another Survey

2006-05-04T10:22:00.001-07:00

I "borrowed" this from Twisted Life of Mine

1. How did you get the idea for your profile name? Hippielalah? Um, I’m a hippie at heart who missed her era and I have no clue where the lalah came fun. I just thought it sounded happy and peppy.
2. What song are you playing now, or wish you were playing? Crazy by Gnarls Barkley because I too 'remember when, remember when I lost my mind…'
3. Has the death of a celebrity ever made you cry? Yep, Luther Vandross. Man, I felt like I'd lost a family member.
4. What color underwear are you wearing? Red
5. Do you want a baby? More than anything in the world. I can't wait.
6. What does your dad do for a living? Retired
7. What does your mum do for a living? Retired
8. What is/are your pet's name(s)? Storm and Nero, both kitties
9. What colour are your bed sheets? Lilac
10. What are the last 3 digits of your phone number? 582
11. What was the last concert you went to? I don't do large crowds or concerts but I remember being drug to a concert in 1999 but I can't remember who it was.
12. Who was with you? My bff and some other friends. It was during summer break when we went home (Colorado) after freshman year. It was a lot of us about 9 or 10.
13. What was the last film you watched? Lord of the Ring: Return of the King
14. Who do you dislike most at this moment? George W. Bush
15. What food do you crave right now? I could go for a burrito from Chipotle (unfortunately there aren't any in TN)
16. Did you dream last night? I did but I never really remember my dreams 5 minutes after I've woken up
17. What was the last TV show you watched? Sex and the City rerun on the late night local channel
18. What is your fav piece of jewelry? My birthstone ring I got from my brother on my 16th birthday
19. What is to the left of you? A empty office
20. What was the last thing you ate? Snack Attack! Chips and Queso and some Chocolate Chip Walnut cookies I made last night (my lunch is so unhealthy)
21. Who is your best friend of the opposite sex? Reggie
22. Who last MSN'd you? Mommy
23. Where is your significant other right now? at work
24. Do you have a crush? Yep
25. What is his/her name? Elmo (he's just so dang cute)
26. When was the last time you had your hair cut? Long long time
27. Are you on any meds? Nope
28. Do you have a mental disease? I don't think we do. We are perfectly fine. Aren't we? Are we? We are!
29. What shirt are you wearing? My favorite olive green colored one.
30. Are you sexy? To sexy for my shirt. So sexy it hurts. (just kidding)
31. What's your favourite store? Bed, Bath and Beyond (I could live in that store) and Hobby Lobby
33. Can you imagine yourself ever getting married? I imagine in about 142 days. Whew hew!
34. Who's someone you haven't seen in a while and miss? My mom and dad
35. Where do you work? Everywhere I go, there's so much work to be done. But technically at a University of Higher Education in TN.

Which American Cities Best fit Me?

2006-05-03T13:04:00.000-07:00

American Cities That Best Fit You:

65% Denver

60% Austin

60% Seattle

55% Las Vegas

55% Portland

It's Official! Time to move back home.
Take this Quiz

Can you blame her?

2006-05-03T09:00:00.000-07:00

Woman beheads husband who wanted 4th wife
Police say wife confessed to killing, saying she was pushed over the edge
Updated: 5:41 a.m. ET May 3, 2006

KARACHI, Pakistan - A Pakistani woman beheaded her husband, chopped up his body and dumped the dismembered parts in a sewerage drain after he announced plans to take a fourth wife, police said on Wednesday.

Police said Majeeda Khatoon killed her husband, a well-off building contractor, while he was asleep, and cut his body into seven pieces with the help of two male relatives in Gulshan-e-Hadeed, a township on the outskirts of the southern city of Karachi.

“When we questioned her, after the deceased’s brother came to us for help, she confessed to the crime,” police official Nazar Mohammad Mangrio told Reuters.

Khatoon, 45, was arrested late last week and has been remanded in custody while the police frame charges against her.

Khatoon said her 55-year-old husband had taken other wives and flaunted his infidelity, but she was pushed over the edge when he announced plans to take a fourth wife, according to the police officer.

Islam permits men to take up to four wives, and while polygamy is not the norm in Pakistan, it is not rare either.

*Ok, I don't advocate domestic violence or any violence for that matter but goodness. She just did what I would have been thinking. 4 wives? Yeah right. I would have been thinking murderous thoughts as well. I don't think I would have chopped up his body or nothing. Maybe just a little poison. Just kidding! Really, I am. Just kidding. For real. (**insert evil laughter**)

Love, Peace and Blessings

Live and Let Live

2006-05-03T06:53:00.000-07:00

I just got chased by a Roach the size of my big toe.

Today is going to be a good day.

No, seriously, I'm in the bathroom at work filling up the coffee pots because well, that's my job, and this roach comes flying out from under the bathroom stall! Ahhh! I mean he was running like his little life depended on it. So I threw some water at him hoping he'd run back under the stall. Does he? No. He procedes to chase me. Every direction my foot went his body went so I ran from him for a good two minutes all over the bathroom. I've never met a bug so ballsy. He's lucky I don't like stepping on bugs because I'm wearing heels today. I could have split his little bug skull but eventually he ran in the corner and stayed there. Whew! I got my coffee pot and ran out of the bathroom. I'm so glad my office is in a completely different part of the building. That sucker was big!

Love, Peace and Blessings

I'm Blue.....but it's ok!

2006-05-01T09:39:00.000-07:00

BLUE:
At work or in school: I like to be with people, sharing with them, inspiring them, and helping them. I work and learn best when I can take into consideration people and the human element. I flourish in an atmosphere of cooperation.

With friends: I always look for perfect love. I am very romantic, and I enjoy doing thoughtful things for others. I am affectionate, supportive and a good listener.

With family: I like to be happy and loving. I am very sensitive to rejection from my family and to family conflicts. I really like to be well thought of and need frequent reassurance. I love intimate talks and warm feelings.

Take This Quiz

Real post later

Love, Peace and Blessings!

And another one...

2006-04-26T12:58:00.000-07:00

I'm making up for all those days when I didn't post anything. Three posts in one day! I must really be bored.

Where am I? Who am I? Where have I been? Where am I going?

Ten Years Ago I was
1996: Sophomore in high school. I was a piano playing, overly involved (pep club, yearbook staff, AACC, JETS, Rhoers Club, ECC, church, etc.) engineer to be attending George Washington High School in Denver, CO.

Five Years Ago I was
2001: In college, living in with a 3 bedroom townhouse with about 5 other people. Working on my English degree (which I have yet to finish) at Tennessee State University. Also in the process of losing my mind.

One Year Ago I was
2005: Doing the same damn thing that I'm doing now (sad)

Yesterday I was
Working like crazy, driving all over town trying to catch up with a 5 year little boy, arguing with "hubby" and making up.

Five Snacks I Enjoy the Most (in no particular order)
1. Anything Chocolate
2. Potato Skin Potato Chips
3. Cookies
4. Celery and Blue Cheese
5. Tomatos (yeah, just plain sliced tomatos or broiled with parmesan cheese on top, mmm!)

Five Songs I Know All the Words Too
1. Anything by Luther Vandross
2. We Go Together (from the Grease Soundtrack, geek alert!)
3. Norah Jones whole first CD
4. La Bamba (I had to learn all the words in 8th grade choir, I went to a bilingual middle school)
5. Anything by Aerosmith
(I have this amazing memory when it comes to songs. I know the words to off the wall stuff like Kiss the Girl from the Little Mermaid Soundtrack.)

Five Ideal Places to Run Off Too
1. Mom and Dad's (which I still consider home)
2. A Cabin in the Woods Mid Winter on a Snowy day with Cocoa, "hubby" and a warm fire. (very specific, I know)
3. Brazil
4. Carribean Resort in a Suite
5. A place of Peace, Love and Happiness (If you find one, let me know)

Five Things You will Never See me Wear
1. Blue Eye Shadow
2. Bright Red Lipstick
3. 4 inch Heels
4. Pleather
5. Bright Yellow anyhing

Five Biggest Joys in My Life (as not to offend anyone, these are in no particular order)
1. A Perfect Spring Day
2. My Parents (and Family)
3. "Hubby"
4. My Kitties
5. My Godson and "Step"baby

Five Favorite Toys
1. Computer
2. My Guitar
3. My New Drums
4. My Teddy Bear (yes, I have one eventhough my "step" baby has been holding it hostage lately. Shout out to Doodle!!)
5. My Sewing Machine

That was fun. Fill it out for yourselves and email me the results.
Love, Peace and Blessings!

Awww, Family!

2006-04-26T09:48:00.000-07:00

I just love this picture!

Two of my many, many nephews. Ages 1 and 24.

I have a big immediate family. The only thing is we live so far apart from each other. Parents in Denver, One sister (bro-in-law) and One brother (sis-in-law) in Florida, One sister and One Brother in Texas and Me in Tennessee. I wish we all lived closer together since I'm not a big traveller. I've considered becoming a gypsy, getting a old school mini bus and just driving around america but with gas prices as they are....anyways, I digress. I can't wait until my wedding because at least then we will all get to be in the same city at least for a little while.

I've tallied it up. I have....
Two (three) sisters
Two (three) brothers
Five nephews
Five nieces
Three great-nephews
Two great-nieces

Huge family, right? I shouldn't be as bored as I am. I'm not even going to get into the amount of Aunts, Uncles and Cousins I have because really I don't know everyone. People get referred to as such and such's grandbaby or son. We are in serious need of a mandatory family reunion. Will it ever happen? No because everyone is so busy blah blah blah. It's messed up but what can you do.

Whew, Jesus!

2006-04-26T06:29:00.000-07:00

I've never been a real LL groupie until I saw this picture.

My My My

I'm boring, so here's this....

2006-04-25T12:13:00.000-07:00

4 things

4 jobs I had

1. Dispatcher

2. Photographer

3. Customer Service Agent (bah!)

4. Daycare Teacher

4 movies I can watch over and over

1. Cleopatra (90's version)

2. Lord of the Rings (all three)

3. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

4. Alexander

4 Places I've lived

1. Tampa, Fl

2. Denver, CO

3. Nashville, TN

4. Only three (sad)

4 shows I love

1. Charmed

2. American Idol

3. America's Next Top Model

4. Girlfriends

4 places I've vacationed

1. Orlando, FL

2. Dallas, TX

3. Los Angeles, CA

4. (Wow, I just realized I've never been on a true vacation in adulthood. That's got to change! I'm sad now)

4 of my favorite foods

1. Chocolate

2. More Chocolate

3. Anything Mexican

4. Spinach

4 sites I visit daily

1. YBF

2. Celebrity Babies

3. Pink is the New Blog

4. Dooce

4 places I'd rather be right now

1. At home (Denver, CO)

2. At home (my bed)

3. Brazil

4. Sandals in Jamaica

4 people I'm tagging

1. No one

2. Any one

3. Some one

4. Every one

I've learned alot about myself in this stupid little survey thing (meme or whatever). I haven't lived enough places, I haven't vacationed for real. I'm talking not visiting family type vacations. No wonder I'm so bored. Seriously, I've had more jobs then I've had vacations and I didn't even name all the jobs I've had. I'm only 26! This sucks. I NEED A VACATION! I'm more convinced of it now then ever. Something has seriously got to change...

Love, Peace and Blessings

Tomorrow is Earth Day!

2006-04-21T07:59:00.000-07:00

Celebrate Earth Day!!

HUG A TREE!!

Tomorrow I'm going to go the the local festivities at Centennial Park here in Nashville. I wanted to go to Knoxville for their festival but you know. Anyways, I try to celebrate Earth Day everyday and I'm learning more and more about organic living and eating. I have serious concern for our planet but I'm not about to give man the power to destroy something older than we can imagine. Mother Earth will heal herself and rid herself of all the pesky being (i.e. us) trying to harms her. You know how she will do this? Water, Air and Fire, i.e. Hurricanes, Tornados and Extreme Heat. Get it? It's happening how. What can we do? Respect her, Love her and Appreciate her. Stop destroying everything God create and she nurtured. Everything on this planet is a gift. The trees, the rivers, the mountains, the animals, however, money hungry people don't notice nor do they care. Pollution, oh its bad but I need three full size SUV's in my motorcade, Poor rain forest, it's sad they are being cut down but I need paper to write laws that I have no intention on enforcing. I could going on and on being cynical but I won't I'm sure you get the point. Anyways, I'm glad we have days like Earth Day and Peace One Day becoming more and more popular, its a step in the right direction but its going to take much, much more. Ok, I'll climb off my soap box.

*This Public Service Announcement has been brought to you by me (Hippielalah) in association with PNWTDDTPA (People Not Wanting To Die Due To Public Arrogance)

Have a Happy Weekend.

Love, Peace and Blessings!

Exactly What I needed to Read

2006-04-20T07:41:00.000-07:00

We tend to fall asleep or lose awareness when peace descends, because the child in us wants to believe that everything is finally as it's supposed to be and should stay that way forever, as in a fairy tale. But nothing stays the same forever; life is an ongoing journey, a dance of light and shadow, and our lives are a fleeting reflection of that vast movement, not the source of it. You must remember that you are part of a flow and learn to move in sync with it, rather than against it. In the natural cycle of things, there is a time for fruition and a time for dissolution. These aspects are not in opposition to each other; one is not good and the other bad; rather, they flow into one another and are interdependent. Stop worrying about things you can't control and getting lost in details, and expand your inner vision to encompass this understanding. Embrace the holistic view of things.

(From www.practicalhippie.com, an excerpt from the Tao Oracle)

I just want to be happy and normal

2006-04-19T08:35:00.000-07:00

Depression rears its ugly head...

Yes, it will be a Good Friday!

2006-04-13T12:39:00.000-07:00

No work tomorrow, Whew hew!!! I'm so glad. I gotta wash loads and loads of clothes though and we don't have a washing machine right now but at least I don't have work. So whatever. "Step" baby will be with us this weekend (he's basically always with us now, He cried this morning because he had to go home with his mom just for the day, he stays with us at nights. Sad) so he expressed an interest to collect some pinecones so we will probably go on a nature walk to collect some pinecones maybe we will come back and make some bird feeders with them, peanut butter and bird seed (remember when you did that in grade school, I do). He'll like that. We might color some eggs for easter too but I don't know how much I trust him with a boiled egg. I may just get one of those little kits for cheap. Sunday, we are supposed to go to two different easter egg hunts with my BFF and my Godson. Fun, Fun! So I won't be back until Monday. I love three day weekends!

Love, Peace and Blessings!

Ommmmmmmmm....

2006-04-12T12:13:00.000-07:00

I had to focus, relax, and calm myself. Now I'm ok. Situations in life can get almost unbearable but with most situations there is a way out and solution. You just have to relax and work your way through it. Exhale, Inhale, all that good stuff. Anyways, I'm feeling better now, more optimistic.

Anyways, I'm getting deeper and deeper into my studing of herbs and their uses. I'm even planning to try a few healing recipes. Eventually, I was want to live completely organic. From my cleaning supplies to cold remedies to baby wipes for my "future" children. I've thought about becoming a vegetarian, I even lasted for a good two months however after talking with people about it. I've come to the conclusion that our bodies need the protein. Now I'm not knocking people who believe otherwise and I know that there are supplements you can take but right now vegetarianism isn't for me. Not saying that won't change in the future. Hell, it's expensive to be a vegetarian and I'm broke, vegetables aren't free and you can get pepperoni pizzas for 98 cents. Anyways, I'm happy the weather is warm and everything outside looks alive and vibrant. I love nature!

Don't fall into the vent because it's long!

2006-04-11T08:11:00.000-07:00

Ok, between killer tornados ripping through the city and custody battles, I'm ready to pack up and move to the mountains and live alone in a homemade cabin with my cats. Really though, seriously, I've been on the verge of threwing my hands up in frustration and allowing the mental breakdown to take me. Friday I spent two hours in the basement at work bracing for a tornado. Luckily, the tornados missed our area but tore up all around us and 12 people lost their lives. I'm nervous about storms and nature because I respect it and I know its power. Storms aren't punishments from God, they are natural process of nature. We just happen to be in the way. Fridays tornados were the least of my worries, however that night I had to find some libation just to take the edge off. Thank god for Cuervo. Anyways, Friday night we got the "step" baby. He's a good kid so we played video games, gave him a bath and put him to bed so we could relax.
Here's where the problems begin. Ok, first. "step" baby has no clothes (eventhough, I personally bought him 5 outfits for Christmas, a size too big so they would last). Second, his mom lost their house and is living with his uncle. Third, his mom has four kids by four different men, "step"baby being the youngest. In the three some odd years I've known "step" baby. He has lived 6-7 different places. She is always messing up not paying bills and getting evicted. We found out that she had "step" baby living in a trailer with no lights for a month! What?! "Step" baby's older brother, who is 10, his dad found out and took him from her. We found this out on Saturday when we went to her brothers house for a barbeque. He broke it down and basically told us that we need to take "step" baby on a permanent basis. I like cool, I'm down to give this boy the world because he deserves it. He appreciates everything. He told me this weekend 'thank you for my bed' because he usually sleeps on the floor, He told me he didn't have a house. It makes me sad. He's five. He shouldn't have to deal with all that. He's peeing in the bed, not being able to fall asleep until 1 in the morning, has two ringworms and people try to act like kids don't know what's going on. That little boy is stressed and if he keeps having to live like this he will be ruined for life. See, his mom likes to disappear from for weeks to months when things start getting bad. "Hubby" finally tracked him down at her brothers house. So I'm like cool. We will take him, get him in daycare and summer programs then get him ready for school in the fall. So I'm working my butt off, calling in favors, trying to figure out how we are going to do this on such short notice (with a limited budget) but I got it figured out. He's a innocent little kid, I'm going to do everything I can. So Monday night we go to his uncles house to pick him up and guess who's there. His momma. She talks to "hubby" and tells him she got them a trailer but she doesn't have the lights on yet. She doesn't want us to take him. Basically, she doesn't want another woman, me, raising her child. Selfish, I think but I don't have any kids so I don't know. She said she's getting everything together (again) and asks if we can just take him while she works which is 11pm - 7am everynight. Since he has a bed (hell, he has his own room) at our house. Which is fine because I was upset about him having to sleep on the floor. So in the end we are going to keep picking him up every night and then he will be with us for the summer. Hopefully, we can get some normalcy in his life. He needs it.

Saturday before we found out all this drama, we took him to the Frist Art museum. It was their 5 anniversary so admission was free plus you get a cupcake. "Step" baby loved that considering he's a sugar-holic. Anyways, they had a nice African Art Exhibit. He got a little restless until we went into the touchable art room where they could try on the masks and touch the beaded jewelry and lion's tails. Then we went to the art room where he got to paint and draw and make a mask. He had fun and he learned a lot. I'm going to sign him up for the Frist Kids Club for this summer since he loves to paint and draw.

Whew! that was a long vent. I feel a little better though but I'm still packing my survival kit just in case I have to head for the hills!

I like to think I'm Coffee, but I'm probably Egg

2006-04-07T08:01:00.000-07:00

CARROT, EGG, AND COFFEE
A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her.. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up.. She was tired of fighting and struggling.. It seemed as if as soon as one problem was resolved, another one arose.
Her mother took her to the kitchen.. She filled 3 pots of water and placed each on a high fire.. Soon the pots came to a boil... In the first pot she placed carrots, in the second she places eggs, and in the third pot she placed ground coffee beans... She let them sit and boil, without saying a word... In about 20 minutes she turned off the burners and fished out the carrots and placed them in a bowl, she then took out the eggs and placed them in a bowl.. then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.. Turning to her daughter, she asked " what do u see?".....
"Carrots, eggs and coffee", she replied.. Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots.. she did and noticed the carrots were soft.. the mother then asked her to take an egg and break it.. After pulling off the shell, the daughter observed the hard boiled egg... Finally the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee.. She did and smiled as she tasted it's rich flavor... The daughter then asked, "what does it mean mother?".... Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity.. BOILING WATER...
Each reacted differently.. the Carrot went in strong, hard and unrelenting....however after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak.. the Egg had been fragile, it's thin outer shell had protected it's liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, it's insides became hardened... the groud Coffee beans were unique, however, after they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water..
"Which are you"" she asked her daughter.."When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, egg or the coffee bean?"

Remembering Selena

2006-03-31T07:14:00.000-08:00

It's eleven years to the day that Selena Quintanilla-Perez was murdered.I'm choosing to remember her by posting clips showing her beautiful, happy personality.

"Vivirá encendido por siempre en nuestros corazones"

Monster in the Mirror

2006-03-29T14:37:00.000-08:00

Wuuba Wuuba Wuuba Woo Woo Woo

From Nowhere

2006-03-22T22:13:00.000-08:00

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory cracked me up! Johnny Depp was scary funny! I need to buy that movie. I could watch it everyday.

I love him to a whole 'nother level. I wish I could just hang out with him.

Eating from the Tree of Knowledge

2006-03-22T08:26:00.000-08:00

I don't pretend to know what God thinks or feels. I can just feel what I feel that God feels. One scripture that always stuck out to me in the bible was "Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God. He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love." (John 4:7-8) It can't be put any simplier. I don't believe God is jealous and venegeful as some people say. Why would he be? He has no need to be. He is God

Eating from the Tree of Knowledge
If you look back in the beginning of the bible when God created everything, Adam and Eve were just to live. That was the whole purpose. I believe the bible was written in metaphors. The tree of knowledge of good and evil especially. As you grow and learn you have more choices to make, choices that may take you closer to God or take you further away from God. Those are choices we must make in life, so to me eating from the tree was enevitable for Adam and Eve to give us those choices to make. Had Adam and Eve not of eaten from the tree of knowledge do you think we'd all be in the garden still happy and blissful? Or was there another possible trick waiting from the devil. Adam and Eve were innocent and free like babies before they tasted knowledge. A growing up process that we all must go through. Ignorance can be blissful. Sometimes I wish I were still a baby and didn't know what was going on in the world around me but just like the unknown can be harmful to a baby, it can be twice as harmful to an adult. Just think about a baby happily laying on the bed, gurgling and giggling, deciding to roll over unknowing that they are on the edge and landing on the floor. Hard reality I call it and that's life.

I trully understand what the bible said about eating from the tree of knowledge of good and evil causing a sure death. I don't believe God wanted us to be dumb and ignorant but wanted us to realize with knowledge comes responsibility. As the child who rolled off the bed gets older and realizes that if he gets too close to the edge that he will fall and hurt himself. It's then up to that child to make sure he takes the precautions necessary to make sure he doesn't hurt himself again. The more you know the more you can help or hurt yourself. For example, you know that drink 6-8 glass of water a day will keep you healthy and in essence possibilly extend your life. Good You also now that if you put a bullet in a .45, put it to you head and pull the trigger that you will end your life. Evil. The knowledge is that inbetween the choice. Got it?

I seek knowledge on various subject. I would love to learn everything about everything (which is impossible) but I don't feel that knowledge will cause my death but the choices I make after having gathered knowledge can.

Dream, a big Dream

2006-03-21T15:11:00.000-08:00

Our desires act as fuel, propelling us toward new horizons. Without something to strive for, we stagnate and become stuck in ruts of our own making because we are unsure of what to do next. Goals are the dreams that we are willing to work for. When we set goals, we take responsibility for our lives and choose to wholeheartedly devote ourselves to our aspirations. Even if we only take the smallest steps toward achieving our ambitions, it is vital that we actively pursue our goals rather than just daydreaming about them. Having goals makes us feel good because it adds a sense of purpose and direction to our lives.
When you endeavor to achieve clear and quantifiable goals, your choices and actions take on new significance. Consciously creating your goals can help ensure that the success you seek is attainable and serves you. Your plan must be conceivable, tangible, and measurable. If you cannot visualize your goal in great detail or believe that you can realize them, you may find it difficult to commit to your goals and take the necessary steps to achieve them. Make sure that your goals have the potential to be emotionally satisfying. You may even want to write them down. Putting your goals into words can keep your intention fresh in your mind and remind you of your purpose. As you make progress toward realizing your goals, give yourself a reward each time you take a step forward so that you have the incentive to keep going. If you find yourself stuck in a rut, examine ways in which you can revise your strategy so that your plan can work. In creating goals, you create your future by outlining your destiny. When you choose your goals using your head and heart, you take the first step in manifesting what you want. You grant your own wishes every time you achieve another goal.
© 2004-06 DailyOM

Let's Get It Started!

2006-03-20T10:24:00.000-08:00

I found the prettiest fabric at Wal-Mart on Saturday. I was shocked that I found it there and it was only $1 a yard! I couldn't believe it. I bought 10 yards of it. It's so pretty I couldn't begin to describe it. Anyways, it will make a pretty skirt. Can't wait! Can't wait!

Today is the first day of Spring. I planted my lavender and camomile flowers yesterday. I can't wait to see them grow. Here's a picture to welcome Spring (my favorite Season)

Welcome Spring!

Begging

2006-03-18T07:12:00.000-08:00

Will somebody please buy this for me? Please, Please, PLEASE!

Mr. Bento Take-Along Stainless Lunch Jar

Hobby Lobby

2006-03-17T11:58:00.000-08:00

I've been completely obsessed with my new hobbies. I got tired of always talking about what I want to do instead of doing it. So I've been emmersing myself in sewing. I finally completed my jean skirt, I haven't worn it yet though. I had several other projects in the works. What I really want to make this skirt by April.

I've been wanting one of these skirts but I can never find one floor length since I'm so tall so I'll make one. I hope to where it to the earthday festival in Knoxville. I'll probably make it black or a dark color like maroon or brown. From everything I read they are pretty easy to make. Its just three half circles sewn together. The hard part is finding and purchasing all that fabric. I need at least 10 yards of fabric for one skirt but in the end it will be full and flowy. I haven't decided what kind of fabric I want to use yet but depending on the cost I may try Charmeuse, Chiffon or Georgette. I don't know yet.

My other hobby which I hope to turn into a career path. This is a medicinal herb kit which I plan on purchasing to start my herb garden.

I can't wait to start it. I've never had a green thumb so it'll be interesting to see how good I do with it.

Booga Booga!

2006-03-13T14:08:00.000-08:00

Yeah, I didn't know what to title this entry. It's a mish mosh of stuff. Anyways, I'm a tad stressed. I can't wait for tomorrow to be over with. I think I'm stressing more about something that really has nothing to do with me but indirectly has everything to do with me. I'm pray and hoping that by this time tomorrow I am happy. Moving on....

The weekend was great. Saturday was beautiful so we headed to our fav park, Centennial, and flew kites. We got these cheap kiddie kites from Dollar General and to my surprise they were quite good. I didn't expect them to fly so high but they did and stayed up there. I flew Winnie The Pooh, "hubby" flew Shrek. It was fun. The park was packed. I watched a game of frisbee football. Very interesting. Got tired of flying the kite and just chilled on the blanket watching all the people enjoying the sunny day. It was so warm, everyone had on shorts and sandals. Crazy March weather to me. I'm from Colorado so I'm use to snowy March's. After leaving the park we went and borrowed a few movies which I will review momentarily.

Sunday I slept late but not on purpose. It felt good to get some extra sleep though. It was cloudy and threatening to rain all day even though it didn't. Got up, ate eggs and pancakes. Laid around the house stuck on the couch watching the rest of the movies we borrowed then "hubby" left to give me some alone time and to hang out with his friends. So I played with my sewing machine. I finished my jeans/skirt (cut up a jeans and make skirt) and I made a pillow. Fun Fun. Cooked dinner, meat loaf, mashed potatos, corn. "Hubby" was back in time for dinner which was surprising because usually he hangs out later when he goes to his friends house to play playstation. So we ate dinner and watched Charmed then turned off the TV and read books. Awwwwww.....

Anyways, I watched like 5 movies this weekend. Some good, some bad, some crazy:

Walk The Line it was ok. Kinda long. Reese did a great job. She deserved her oscar. Joaquin let me down a little. He looked drunk the whole time. I was surprised that Reese and Joaquin did all the singing for the movie. Overall, B

Just Friends was fuuuuunnnnnnyyy! I laughed the whole time. I didn't think it was going to be that funny but it was. The girl from Scary Movie, Anna Farris, cracked me up the whole time so did Ryan Reynolds and his brother were funny tooo. I watched it twice. A+

Lord of War it was good. It was very interesting. I'm not a big Nicholas Cage fan and this movie didn't make me a fan or nothing but he did a good job. I would recommend people see the movie though. It was kinda sad towards the end (not gonna spoil it though). B

The Devil's Rejects didn't make much sense to me. I guess because I hadn't seen the House of a Thousand Corpses which was the first movie by Rob Zombie. The movie was grusome beyond grusome. I think Rob Zombie went a little over board with some of the things that were said and done. I think the movie would have been ok if it had a plot of some sort. It seemed like the plot was blood and more blood. I'm not a horror fan. D

The Constant Gardener was intense. Probably one of the best movies I've seen since Crash. It was a deep, thinking movie. You have to pay attention from the beginning to the end. It made you think different things were going. I'm going to watch it again. Once you finish watching that movie, you wonder if that's really going on but you realize it is. Excellent, excellent movie. A+

I still have to watch Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

I am WATER

2006-03-10T07:06:00.000-08:00

Are You Air, Earth, Water or Fire?
You scored 46, on a scale of 0 to 110. Here's how to interpret your score:

21 - 50 Water: You're sensitive and fluid, responding to feelings more than anything else. Dreams, visions, love, and the mysterious attract you. You may be prone to depression, so try to balance your emotions with rationality.

The Water Person

The Water person feels first and foremost. "Thinking never solved anything—only our hearts should be our guides!" She has a great facility with feeling; she is compassionate, caring, and a great listener. Water people can be wonderful therapists. They "go with the flow," but don’t flit about like Air people. Their movements have a definite path, albeit an often unexpected one.

The Water person’s open heart makes her generous, and her empathy can make her quite social, although not all Water people are "bubbly." She is often very dreamy, and can be mystical. Among magical folk, Water people might meditate, light incense, take steamy baths, wear consecrated herb bags, and so on. Water people are often artistic as well, and are especially found among painters and musicians.

Water people often move with a sensual grace that reminds one of their element, and often have wide, open eyes, the kind that look deep and liquid. Very Watery people often dress in flowing clothes or have flowing accessories. They can have a mysterious quality that is compelling to those around them. Some Water people are dark, brooding, and perhaps even silent, an inward rather than outward Water manifestation.

Romance comes naturally to Water people; they give and receive love easily. Some share themselves effusively, and some are very secretive, withholding information while being open with emotion. Perhaps surprisingly, not all romantic Water types are particularly sexual; many find the physicality of sex to be a distraction from love’s emotional and spiritual nature.
All that feeling can lead to its share of problems. Depression and addiction are Watery illnesses, and flowing with dark, negative feelings can make some Water people irrational, or even psychotic. More likely, the Water person will simply be prone to tears, often needing to "get serious" at moments when others would prefer to be lighthearted. They can be as inconsistent as the tides, changing their minds the way Earth people change their socks. Their wonderful sensitivity can go overboard, making them perceive every offhand remark as a major emotional statement.

The Water person can choose to balance herself. Water needs to be offset by rationality, decisiveness, and groundedness. With some balance, the Water person can follow her flowing nature, and be happier for it.

That explains me to the T!
TAKE THE QUIZ

Time to Get on the Ball

2006-03-08T13:40:00.000-08:00

Ok, I've had yet another example of young people, people my age who have their own businesses. Not just side businesses but businesses that support their life and livelihood. I want so much in life. I want to be able to support myself while working for myself. See, the thing about working for other people you feel expendable. It doesn't matter who does the job just as long as it gets done and if you decide to quit tomorrow they will have you replaced two days later. I don't want to give 40 years of my life to some one elses dream because everyone's business starts from a dream.

Having said all that, I am determined more than ever to start one of the business endeavors that I've written about. I have so many ideas that I cause myself to have headaches. I just want to start something at least one of the business ideas I have. I am determined to do something. More to come....

Weekend Update

2006-03-06T07:52:00.000-08:00

I rekindled my childhood this weekend. I also realized how old I was. I remember a time when I could swing all day. I swung for about 30 minutes and was naueous the rest of the day. I needed ginger ale and crackers. But it was fun. Me, the "hubby" and the "step"baby hung out at Centennial park all day. We had gotten him a little sponge bob fishing rod for Christmas so he could practice casting so when it's time for our camping trip he can actually fish with us. Anyways, first cast, right in the lake. Luckily, it floated. I guess they figured kids would throw their rods in the lake. Eventually he got the hang of it was actually pretty good. I don't know if I trust him with a hook yet. Then we went up to the Parthenon. If I could build my house to mark any structure it would be this. Size and all. If I win a $365 million dollar lottery I'm building a replica of the Parthenon to live in. Inside it would be a regular house but the outside would look like the Parthenon, tall pillars and all. I mean who wouldn't want to live somewhere that looked like this. The ancient Greeks did. Why can't I. I would love it! So don't be shocked if one day you are driving around a neighborhood and you see a Parthenon replica sitting there. I wonder if I could really do that? Anyways, After the Parthenon we headed to the playground and my inner child fought her way the surface. I'd forgotten how much fun swinging was. Especially when you lean back and look up. You feel like you are flying. That was probably what made me naseous but it was fun while it lasted. Very fun day at the park. After the park we went home and painted. Trying to harness the inner Picasso in my "step"baby. He did pretty good too. No paint got anywhere it shouldn't have. I was very proud of that fact.

Sunday was a lazy day. My stomach was still hurting from the day before and the little one had the sniffles so we all just laid around on the couches, under blankets watching movies all day. I made lasagna (homemade, I might add) with chessy garlic bread and salad for dinner. Now it's back to the grind. Kinda quiet because its Spring Break which I do not get off by the way. There aren't any students around but there must be some purpose as to why I'm here..................nope can't think of anything. Oh well. I'll be deep tomorrow.

America ~ You suck!

2006-03-03T06:41:00.000-08:00

I can't believe that Sway was voted off American Idol last night. He was the second best singer in the competition. (Led by the one and only, Mr. Chris Daughtry). I couldn't believe he got less votes then the little chicken little dude with the lisp. Come on, America. I know you think the little boy is cute but this is a singing competition. Really. I thought Sway was very good. I thought he did Stevie Wonder justice on Overjoyed. Anyways, I'm very disappointed with the voters. I voted for Sway!

Now my top three picks for the guys are:
1. Chris Daughtry
2. Ace Young
3. Taylor Hicks

My top three picks for the girls are:
1. Mandisa
2. Melissa McGhee
3. Lisa Tucker

Well, goodbye Sway. I know you will get a record deal because you can sing your butt off. I looked forward to seeing you in the future.

Jose "Sway" Penala

Being Yourself ~Whoever that is

2006-03-02T06:41:00.000-08:00

In my 26 years of life, I've learned something, People really don't care. So why try to please them. I sometimes find myself trying the fit into this box of what I think people think I'm supposed to be. I try to act and say things that people would expect me to say or that are ok to say but why? In the end, the person who turns their nose up at you for something you say or do doesn't really care about you anyways, so be yourself. I discussed this with my "hubby" because we are a lot alike. We like a lot of the same things. But we find ourselves changing around certain friends or certain family. All of a sudden Rock isn't cool Rap is, I find myself turning down Staind and listening to what ever is on the Hip-hop and R&B station. It's weird and nerveracking. The problem is its subconscious. Your whole demeanor changes just to fit with who ever you are around.

I envy those eccentric people who don't care what people think. They do what makes them happy and to hell with what everyone else thinks. As long as the behavior isn't destructive, I don't feel like no one has the right to tell me I'm wrong. Just because I don't like something you may like doesn't mean I'm weird, maybe it's you that's weird. It's hard to get that message through your own head when all your life you've felt weird and out of place. Luckily, now that I'm older I'm starting not to care. The person I've suppressed for so long is starting to come out and who cares. There is an outgoing person in me. She comes out sometimes and will have a conversation with a perfect stranger. Why not? A lot of the times she's afriad to talk though, feeling like her words will be scrutinized for what they are. People who can't understand where her thoughts come from or why she feels she isn't normal. For this reason alone I understand why my "hubby" and I were made for each other. We've both been conformist for so long, now its time to be who we've been all along.

With that said, this is me.
.:I love Rock and Roll (so put another dime in the jukebox, baby):.
.:Sometimes when I walk I outside I feel like the wind blows just for me:..:I prefer epic dramas (i.e. Troy, Lord of the RIngs) over all other movies:..:I want to play the guitar and write songs (not sing though):..:I have two cats and I love them like babies:..:I feel I can see God because he is everything:..:I like to play in the rain:..:I'm afriad I won't live up to my potential:..:I want to make my own cloths:..:I'm addicted to chocolate:..:I have a short attention span and adult ADD (sometimes):.

Planning my Escape

2006-03-01T06:47:00.000-08:00

Am I the only adult who longs for summer vacation?

The ins and outs of society is starting to bog me down. This morning I woke up to a beautiful day. 61 degrees at 7:30am. The forecasters call for a beautiful spring like day. I wish I could be outside all day. Sitting the grass, under the sun, enjoying the breezes, by the water. Sounds beautiful, no? 9 to 5 excuse me, 8 to 5 I'm inside. Actually, even longer since I'm sharing one car and he doesn't get off until 6. I'm in a brick structure with one window behind me. I can't even enjoy watching outside, let alone bask in the glory that is nature. I miss summer vacation. I was active throughout the summer in programs and art classes. My mom made sure each summer I took some kind of class, art, gymnastics, ballet, philosophy, everything but I still had at least one to two months to just run around and play. I really do miss that. Waking up late and knowing that you will have a day of outdoor adventures.

I don't feel life was meant to be lived like this. Fighting traffic half the morning to get to work where you are indoors doing things that really have nothing to do with you or you life then having to fight traffic to get home while you're already tired and you have to cook dinner, clean up then go to bed so you can do it all again the next morning. That is why people are so angry and mean all the time. Its a monotonous existence. I know we must do these things daily to survive but I also feel inside that there is a better way to survive without getting burnt out at 35. There were times when people spent days reading and sewing, raising children and preparing meals. Love went into everything that was done because the focus was on the family and making them happy. Everyone was so smart and creative but now people are controlled by money, greed and television. I'll admit, I am too but this is something I plan to change. We've lived so long with instant entertainment that if one day all the satellites and cables stopped working people wouldn't know what to do with themselves. Do you know how many households I've been in that don't have books? Not a one, well maybe one, but slim to none. How many people don't read or create or think? It's like we are all just going through the motions waiting to die. Life isn't supposed to be lived like this.

In conclusion, since I took that big detour from my point. I'm planning my escape. There has to be a way to live life, survive in this society without serving someone else's purposes and ignoring my own. I don't want to die young from stress. I don't want to wake up at 45 and realize I haven't seen half of what God put on this planet for me. I don't want to keep neglecting this planet that we are destroying. I could live as a gyspy and be happy but people like that are considered wrong by society. Mark my words though one day I will live life the way it is supposed to be lived and I won't care what anyone thinks.

2006-02-28T20:29:00.000-08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DADDY!!!!!!!

Um?

2006-02-28T15:29:00.000-08:00

Blah Blah Blah. Nothing to say.

Aw, man! The icky's got me!

2006-02-24T11:10:00.000-08:00

I'm sick! (pout pout)
My "hubby" got sick and he decided to pass it along to me. Now he's feeling good and I'm feeling bad. My sinus' are killing me, along with my throat, my itchy watery eyes, my stuffy nose. I have so much sinus pressure in my head that my ears are popping. Now that's bad. And to top it all off, my wisdom teeth are coming in again. See, at least once a year one of two of my wisdom teeth decide that they want to come in. So they bother me for about two weeks then retract and leave me alone for about a year. So I have to add sore gums to all that other sickness. I'm pouting right now as I type. So tonight "hubby" is going to play Madden on playstation with his homies and I'm going to lay on the couch with my kitties and self medicate until I pass out. Just kidding. But I will be completely stretched out. I so can't wait until its time to go home. Tomorrow I'm sleeping in too. Sunday I'm supposed to go to church and talk to this counselor my "hubby's" dad suggested give us marriage counseling then I'm supposed to go try on wedding dresses with my BFF. I can't wait. I hope I feel better. Next week I will actually do some real blogging.

Have a great weekend!

2006-02-17T13:54:00.000-08:00

I am the CENTER OF MY UNIVERSE but I do not live here aloneEach move I make creates a ripple in someone elses oceanEach breath I take affects the air all around meEach word I utter falls on someone elses earsThat which I touch is felt by anotherThat which I do will certainly affect anotherThat which I do not, will also affect anotherWe never know how far reaching something we say or do really isuntil it returns to usAnd it always does...ALL THINGS IN LIFE FORM A CIRCLEwhether we see the circle or not~Unknown

Week Down

2006-02-17T08:48:00.000-08:00

It's the weekend again. I'm feeling better today, emotionally that is. I'm craving chocolate so you know what that means. Yesterday my mom put an end to my pity party by threatening to slap me. Ohhh, how loving she is. No, really she is and she helped me through it. So I'm feeling better today.

I'm feeling nerdy this weekend though. I want to clean up my house and read. I would like to clean up tonight and read all day tomorrow. It's supposed to snow too. How perfect. I could wrap up in a blanket by the sliding glass door in my room, sip some hot cocoa and read while gazing out the window at the snow. That would be perfect. However, our weather man is only right about 15% of the time so I doubt it will even snow. It would be great too if I had the house to myself but the "step"baby will be there. Maybe him and "hubby" can get lost for a little while so I can have some alone time. Was it bad that I just said that? Nope. Everyone needs their alone time and considering I don't get home until quarter to seven every night, it would be nice to spend some daylight in my house.

Anyways, next week is Aerosmith week. One of the best bands ever, so I'm going to be playing their videos all week. Should be exciting. I love Aerosmith. They are number two on my list of favorite bands, lead only by one band. The lovely Miss Amy Lee and Evanescence. I love love them. They need to put out another CD soon. Maybe the following week will be Evanescence week. See ya, Monday.

Pity Party

2006-02-16T11:17:00.000-08:00

I'm planning a pity party, if anyone wants to come. No presents needed, maybe just some tissue. I just feel like everytime I take a step forward something pushes me back two pegs. Not one, two. Then I have to struggle to get back to one. I feel like happiness isn't for me. I'm destined to be miserable. People always say it could be worse, you could be disabled or gravely ill, homeless and I understand that. That stuff is much worse than what I'm going though but it doesn't help. It doesn't help calm the feelings and emotions in me, the tears on my face or make me feel any better. Maybe the guy who is paralyzed could deal with the problems I'm having much easier or maybe he couldn't maybe he would feel like, 'Damn, I'm already paralyzed and I have to deal with this too'.

It's all about money. Everything is always about money. I'm starting to hate money. I hate the dependency of it. You can't function without money. I doubt that was God's plan when he created the earth that we would have this dependency on money. You can't feed a starving baby without money, you can't learn without money, you can't see at night clearly without money. It's disgusting. I swear. Sometimes I just want to build a cabin in the woods somewhere and grow a garden and just take care of myself and my family. But whoops I forgot, can't build a cabin if you don't own the land, and you can't own the land if you don't have money so there goes that idea.

Happiness aludes me. It's like we are playing hide and seek. Everytime I think I've found it, I sneak up on it, open the door then smile. It runs past me to hide again. I start planning like a normal person, feeling good about the future and happiness runs from me faster. It's a game being played and I'm losing, my sanity that is.

I have the love of someone that I trully love. It is mutual but our combined fate and all around bad luck is beating us both down. It's one thing to have one person who just doesn't have good luck with someone who is pretty luck but to have two people with bad luck who just want to be normal and happy, not rich and famous, just normal together, it's horrible.

Anyways, I'm trying to get over this depression and hope that God has a plan for me, for us. I'm trying...

Love is in the Air~

2006-02-14T07:30:00.000-08:00

Today I feel: Loved

Happy Valentine's Day!!!

Writer's Block Abolished.

2006-02-10T09:10:00.000-08:00

Today I feel: Creative.

I've had writer's block for months now and it has been a pain in the butt. However, on Monday I was inspired and words just started flowing from my fingers into the computer so I have been spending all my free time writing my new novel and planning a wedding. So that is why the lack of updates. I'll try to fit it in, not that anyone cares other than me.

Anyways, after watching good morning america piece about teenage girl and the rise of drug use, I was inspired to write my novel. It won't just be about drug abuse but it will have some of those elements in it, along with cutting, depression, boy, sex, life, etc. I may posted excerpts later. See ya.

T.G.I.F.

2006-02-03T13:48:00.000-08:00

Today I feel: Ready for the weekend!

I'm so glad it's Friday I could slap my boss. No, just kidding. Anyways, I'm looking forward to this weekend. The "step"baby is already at my house and my godson is coming tomorrow. So it should be a fun filled day then one of my friends is having a birthday party at her house Saturday night. I so need to socialize. I can't wait. I promised my best friend/sister that I would attend church with her Sunday morning. It's family and friends day. Then its Super Bowl time. Whew hew! I'm going to meet back up with "hubby" and "step"baby to go to a super bowl party at one of his friends house. Can't wait. Even though my beloved broncos didn't make it, I can cheer for my second favorite team, the Steelers! Go Steelers!

I need a fun weekend, I've been depressed this week, bogged down with things that I shouldn't be. I plan to forget about everything, have fun with the kids, with my friends, and chill. I can't wait.

This is where I preach

2006-02-02T09:48:00.000-08:00

I wrote this for one of my classes and I just wanted to share.

What is the point?

According to Dr. Carter G. Woodson, an awareness of the trials and lives of Blacks in America is for "the world see the Negro as a participant rather than as a lay figure in history." As another Black History Month begins, I wonder if the purpose that Dr. Woodson set in motion almost 80 years ago is accomplished today. He started the week for the world to become aware of the Black Americans place in history. Along the way, however, we have lost the interest of those who should be participating in creating black history, the young black man and woman.
Black History was celebrated at one time. We are past the age of ‘black is beautiful’ and ‘say it loud, I’m black and I’m proud.’ Ask the average young black male or female and you will find that most of them see Black History Month as a joke not a celebration of their heritage. Those who take black history month seriously were more than likely apart of that history. They were there and saw it with there own eyes. Is Black History Month going to die with them? Other races are arguing for their history to be celebrated. They take an interest in it. I peruse the Black History Month Calendar of Events looking for something, anything that the average young black person could get excited about during this month dedicated to their history. Granted, this month was filled with great, influential speakers, Angela Davis, Jesse Jackson, Naomi Tutu and Martin Luther King III, only people missing are the very ones who feel Black History Month is a joke.
I sat disappointed with how my black history month was presented to me, not realizing that I am not only here to learn, I am here to teach. The old saying applies, ‘if you aren’t part of the solution, you must be part of the problem.’ Nashville was at the hub of the civil rights movement. There is a whole room at the Main Library Downtown beautifully laid out for those seeking to learning about black history and civil rights. How many of us who were not alive during those important years have visited this room other than on a school forced field trip? Channel 19 periodically shows news scenes and clips from the civil rights movement here in Nashville. How many of us pause when we see those black and white images of young Fisk students being arrested so we can eat downtown. Daily we walk down the same streets as those sit-in demonstrators, sit in the same college classrooms that they did and most are unaware. How many people who use the Looby center and visit the Looby library know that its not just a name but he was a person, an attorney whose house was bombed because he defended those same sit-in demonstrators? Nashville is rich with history, black history. I wasn’t aware of the place Nashville had in Black History when I moved here 5 years ago but through the resources at the library and Channel 19 I was made more aware but what about those who were people born and raised here who know less than me. So why are so many young Nashvillians ignorant to this? Where does the fault lie? Not with Dr. Woodson, that is for sure.
People are questioning the need for Black History Month. Should there be a month for Hispanic History or Japanese History or Native American History because each group has gone through something in America. So why not have a Native American History Month? Would they embrace it more than Black Americans who have a month but do not seem to care?
How long will we be afforded the luxury of having a month dedicated to our history and when will more young blacks become interested in it? Will it be when it is taking from us and given to another more appreciative race and will young black men and women fight for it if it happens?

In Remembrance...

2006-01-31T06:42:00.000-08:00

Today I feel: sad

"Women, if the soul of the nation is to be saved, I believe that you must become its soul."

ATLANTA - Coretta Scott King, who turned a life shattered by her husband’s assassination into one devoted to enshrining his legacy of human rights and equality, has died. She was 78.

We've lost another one of our most influential black leaders. Who will fill these shoes?

9/11 Conspiracy Theory

2006-01-30T12:33:00.000-08:00

Today I feel:Outraged

For all you 9/11 conspiracy theorist (like myself) out there. Here is video I found on Google which goes into great detail about the terrorist attacks on 9/11 and the collaspe of both WTC buildings and WTC 7. The thought that the government may have been behind the attacks is appalling but I'm not going to say nothing else. Check it out for yourself.

Loose Change

Life.

2006-01-26T08:37:00.000-08:00

Today I feel: Stifled

"I'm the one who's gonna have to die when it's time for me to die, so let me live my life the way I want to." -Jimi Hendrix

Tribal Life

2006-01-24T07:54:00.000-08:00

Today I feel: awed

Ok, so this weekend was ok. I didn't do much. Sunday, my "hubby" and I watched a marathon of tribal life on the Travel channel. It's where a film crew is embedded in a tribe of people and records their day to day life and special ceremonies. There was this particular tribe that lived on an island off the coast of Australia. Their island was so beautiful, the views, the beach, the water so clear, perfect. They were all so happy. They weren't worried about clothes, money, fighting, nothing. They just lived, celebrated family. There diet consisted of pig, yams and karo. They built boats by hollowing out the trees in the forest. And if they took a tree from the forest they planted something in its place to sooth the spirit of the forest and the tree. They respected their earth and actually had a little ceremony for the spirit of the tree that was cut down. I was like so amazed by these people. The big thing about it was they knew all about western civilization. They know about money, luxuries, and stuff and they rejected it for their way of life. Apparently, they had been visited by westerners trying to come civilize them and teach them their religion. Basically, trying to steal their land and turn it into a tourist resort because it was beautiful. They rejected them and their way of life. We sat their watching this feeling like that was the way life is supposed to be lived. Wishing that we could just go live there and assimilate ourselves to their culture. It was beautiful.

But of course we aren't there and even if we were our bodies are so use to the modern conveniences of our lives here, I don't think we'd survive. What we need to do is is create our own tribe like that. Same minded people who respect mother earth, who are all about family and community. We could find a nice area of land and all live there, surviving off of our farming and hunting skills. It would be great. Then again, the american government would call us a cult and kill us all. Oh well.

No, but seriously. That show opened my eyes to how life is supposed to be lived maybe one day I'll get to know what that feels like.

Brown To Be

2006-01-19T12:09:00.000-08:00

Today I feel:In Love

We have set a date. Our nuptials will take place on September 23, 2006 in his hometown with the ceremony preformed by his father at his father's church. How sweet! I can't wait. I have a lot of planning to do, weight to lose and I only have 9 months.

Word for the day: Ominous

2006-01-17T14:08:00.000-08:00

Today I feel:uninspired

The clouds outside look Ominous.

I don't know if that word fits right there or not but when I looked outside I thought, How Ominous.

I don't care I'm using that word right there just like that. So get over it if I'm wrong.

*Update*

I looked it up.
om·i·nous adj.
1. Menacing; threatening.
2. Of or being an omen, especially an evil one.

Turns out I was right. I'm so smart.

Happy MLK Day!

2006-01-16T05:42:00.000-08:00

Today I feel: proud

"Like an unchecked cancer, hate corrodes the personality and eats away its vital unity. Hate destroys a man's sense of values and his objectivity. It causes him to describe the beautiful as ugly and the ugly as beautiful, and to confuse the true with the false and the false with the true. Power at its best is love implementing the demands of justice. Justice at its best is love correcting everything that stands against love."

The best Cheddar Broccoli Cheese Soup Recipe

2006-01-13T07:49:00.000-08:00

Today I feel: domestic

Yesterday I wasn't feeling too good and needed some comfort food so last night I went home and decided to try my hand at making Broccoli Cheese Soup which is my favorite. I've never made it at home and can only get it at certain resturants on certain days, like Applebee's on Saturday. Mine turned out great. I loved it. I want some more. I'm definitely going to make some more. I'm feeling a little better today but not much. I hate it when I get in my depressed modes, they are so hard to come out of. It's like just be happy, but it's not that simple. I'm going to meditate on it and hopefully, with the help of the three day weekend, I will feel better soon.
Anyways, here is the yummy recipe.

Cheddar Cheese Broccoli Soup

2 cup frozen broccoli, chopped
1 can cheddar cheese soup
1 can cream of celery soup
1/2 can of milk (I just poured some milk in one of the cans after the soup)
2 cup H2O (water)
10 oz of Velvetta, chopped
1/4 cup onions, chopped
2 dashes of black pepper

In a large sauce pan add H2O, broccoli and onions, bring to boil and let boil for 4-5 minutes. Then add cheddar cheese soup, stir. Add cream of celery soup, stir. Add milk, stir. Slowly add pieces of chopped velvetta while stirring giving it time to melt properly. Add pepper and continue stirring. Then Enjoy!

Nothing

2006-01-12T10:45:00.000-08:00

Today I feel: blah

Not feeling too good today. Nothing is physically wrong with me just not feeling great, kinda blah. It's nothing a hot bowl of soup, a comfortable bed and a good book can't fix.

Heed our Warnings!

2006-01-10T08:03:00.000-08:00

Today I feel: enlightened

Intuition is a message from the cosmos just for you. You know how you get that feeling in your gut that something just isn't right or that something may go wrong. That is your intuition. Many people don't listen to it or choose to ignore it. It's the universe's way of warning you. Heed it. I've learned more and more to follow my instinct. I use to quiet the voice or feeling that told me not to do something. I did it anyways usually with bad results. I'm learning to harness my inner voice.

You know how you may meet some one and instantly get a bad feeling about them. It doesn't necessarily mean that they are a bad person, they just might be bad for you. Someone who may not have your best interests in mind, someone who may cause you harm (emotional/physical) if you continue contact with them. They may seem outwardly perfect but something inside you makes you feel a little uneasy about them. I consider it a gift to feel these things. It shouldn't be used as a tool to judge, to rebuke someone and cause a scene because that's not what is for. It's for your personal, mental notes something you keep inside as note to yourself. Like I said, the person may not be bad, just bad for you or put out a negative energy.

Follow the direction of your inner voice or inner red flag if you will. It's the universe's gift to you to help. Listen to it. Don't wave it off or ignore it. It is in your best interest to pay attention.

Weekend Update

2006-01-09T08:12:00.000-08:00

Today I feel:Positive

I just heard the pussycat dolls cover of the Nina Simone song Feelin' Good. I like it. I thought that PCD were garbage after Don't Cha but I like this song and Stickwitchu.

Anyways, this weekend was cool. Saturday, my "hubby", my 5 year old "step"baby, and I went and hung out at his friends house. His friend and his girlfriend have a brand new baby so I got to play with her. She is adorable, she's about 6 or 7 months old. His girlfriend has a 3 year old son from a previous relationship so 5 had some one to play with or fight about sharing with. It was a fun morning. We borrowed a few movies from them since they were heading to Knoxville to introduce their new baby to some of his family. I watched American Beauty again. I had forgotten how crazy that movie was. I was forced to watch Chicken Run twice in a row by the time it was requested again we just decided to put the dvd player in his room and watch regular television.

Sunday was picture perfect. We had planned to go to church but 5 was sent to our house with nothing presentable for church. I have a few questions about his mother's thoughts when it comes to acceptable clothing for the weather but that's another conversation. We are just going to buy him some clothes for our house since he insists on coming every weekend. Anyways, "hubby" fixed breakfast, eggs and pancakes (my favorite) then we lounged for a while watched Chicken Run for the third time. After some begging, I talked "hubby" out of the house and to the park. Centennial is by far my favorite park. It was windy but not cold. There were a lot of people out that day. We took 5's fishing rod and scooter with us. We got him a sponge bob fishing rod for Christmas so he could practice casting and reeling in the lake in the middle of the park. He was pretty good at it. Then we let him ride his scooter around as we walked around. See, its times like this when I need a camera. I had a digital camera, which broke and I haven't been able to buy a new one because I want a real nice one. But there were tons of perfect picture opts and the photographer in me was crying. We stayed until it started getting dusky then went home. "Hubby" had to drop 5 off, he didn't want to go. He looked so sad. Everytime he has to go home it pulls at my heartstrings, I told "hubby" I'd have no problem letting him move in with us on a permanant basis. I love the little dude and I like having him around. He'll be staying for the summer which will be fun. I'm looking for a summer day camp for him while I'm at work so "hubby" can get the sleep he needs to work at night plus I think it'll be fun for him. Currently he just sits around the house all day and that's no fun. He expressed an interest in karate so maybe we'll check something like that out. We'll see. Hippie loves the kids.

New Year Resolutions

2006-01-05T09:37:00.000-08:00

This year I will strive to blah blah blah. No, seriously....

1. (most overused new years resolution ever) Lose weight. But more than that, live a healthy lifestyle. Eat more fruits and vegetables. Limit fast food consumption. Integrate exercise into my daily routine. Cook more interesting and new, healthy foods. Try 2 new recipes a month. Use more herbs and natural medicines as opposed to manufactured ones.

2. Complete every project I start this year. No more procrastination.

3. Develop my artisy side. I consider myself an artist, since I'm aspiring writer and my writings are my art but I'd like to use my new sewing machine to create new clothing for me and my family. Take up painting. Work on my culinary artistry. Be crafty (I started this one last night when I made my own Marble Magnets)

4. Start at least one of my proposed business. Save money for the supplies. Buy my camera and home computer equipment. Start my first business buy March, up and running, taking orders and making money. This must be completed! No ifs, ands, or buts!

5. Do more activities outdoors. I consider myself a nature mystic yet I've been spending more time on the couch then with nature. I will visit my favorite park more and go on at least 2 camping trips.

6. Read at least two books a month. I use to read a lot but lately I've been stuck in front of the TV.

7. Become a published author. I have been talking with several self publishing outlets and I'm in the process of choosing one to work with who will market my work in the best way possible.

8. Do more activities with "hubby". He has been right along with me on the couch so I'd like for us to do more activities together, i.e. bowling, hiking, fishing, etc.

9. Travel more. Including camping trips, I would like to take a summer vacation to my home town (Denver, CO) to show "hubby" where I grew up. Also, planning to take the Christmas at Disneyland trip that didn't materialize in 2005.

10. Last but first on my mind. My spirituality. Continue reading and studying about spirituality. Develop a closer relationship with God. Practice the art of Zen, meditation. Find a church I feel comfortable with.

All ten of my resolutions are completely doable. I won't make any excuses for things not accomplished or completed. I will make a concious effort to keep these resolutions in the front of my mind at all times.

Better Late Than Never

2006-01-04T20:57:00.000-08:00

Holiday Update
I think this was the most stressful holiday I've ever hard. Ok, first my "hubby" was married before. He got married young (18) and has 3 children. I was thinking that I wanted to have kids at my house on Christmas morning. You know the whole waking up early, seeing the excited faces of kids in the morning opening presents. Well, the kids were fun. The stressful part was the Christmas shopping done before hand. His kids don't live with us, of course, so knowing what they want is hard, except his youngest, his 5 year old is extremely attached to us and is around the most so we knew what to get him but the other two (a 7 year old boy and a 6 year old girl) was very hard. They never come around so I was completely boogled in what to get them. So we did some shopping together at the last minute (christmas eve eve). Never again. I'm doing my Christmas shopping in July from now on. The crowds were unbelieveable. Toys were everywhere, people rushing through the eisles. It was banana's. On a side note, I went to Walmart last night and the toys eisles were so neat and replenished with toys we were looking for a week ago gleaming brightly on the shelves. Anyways, finally we finished shopping and I was able to wrap up all the presents including the few I'd gotten for my "hubby" and godson. Christmas eve the kids are dropped off. So my inner Martha Stewart comes out and I make cookies for the kids to design with icing for Santa. Of course I let them eat the cookies that they had drawn all over along with the big gulps of egg nog to wash them down while we watched Kronk's New Groove. Even after the movie they had a crazy sugar buzz going on but it was getting late since their mother didn't drop them off until 9 pm. It was midnight so we used the 'you better get to bed so santa can come' line. We tucked them all in the bed in the guest/kids room, put on another movie, Piglet's movie (the 5 year old favorite). We knew going right to sleep wasn't an option so we headed back downstairs, spiked the egg nog and sat down to watch an adult movie. Around 2am we are tuckered, ready for bed after putting together a scooter for the youngest. We head upstairs and 5 and 6 are still awake. They are laying in the bed with one of the cats. So of course we can't fall asleep until they are asleep. It doesn't take long before everyone is out. Since 7 fell asleep first he wakes up at around 9am but we decided we were going to let everyone wake up in the their own time. Finally around 10am their mom is calling like 'I'm ready for the kids back so we can go to my family's house' so we wake up 5 and 6. 5 is instantly up and ready to open presents. My "hubby" had to carry 6 down the stairs because she was still sleepy. Anyways, kids open presents, paper and toys everywhere. I did get to see the excited kid faces on Christmas morning. Since my "hubby" and I said we were going to start our own Christmas traditions, we went a head and made the pancake breakfast we had planned for Christmas morning even though it was almost Christmas afternoon. "Hubby" cooked pancakes, eggs and turkey bacon. It was yummy. Then the kids played with their toys some more before it was time to be dropped back off at home. 5 had a fit. He didn't want to leave, he cried and cried and begged to stay so "hubby" had to promise him that he'd get to come back. So "hubby" leaves with "step"children, house is finally calm and quiet, the kitties come out of hiding since they were scared away by the loud screaming and ripping of holiday paper. I finish picking up the paper and cleaning up the living room then plopped down on the couch. It was a good night and good morning but having 3 kids in the house is a hard job if you aren't use to it. "Hubby" gets back quickly and we decide to open our gifts for each other since the morning was about the kids. I got two things I'd been asking, begging for, a sewing machine and a smootie marker, so I'm stoked. I got "hubby" a nice watch (something he'd been dropping hints for), a Abu Garcia fishing rod, and the Lord of the Rings Trilogy on DVD (fullscreen of course, he hates widescreen), so we chill out nap a little. Then that evening 5 is right back at the door to spend two more nights with us. I don't know why he is so attached to being at his dad's house. I always thought the youngest would be attached to mom but he's not. He's attached to dad, the other two aren't. I thought it was especially wierd since the divorced when she was pregnant with him and he never lived in the house with him. But oh well, it's fun having him around and when my godson comes over on weekends we go right and pick up 5 so they can play. Having all the kids around made me even more anxious to become a mommy. It was fun.

New Years Eve was off the hook. First, keeping with the tradition from the year before, "hubby" and I sat down to write out our collective new years resolutions. Things we would like to accomplish collectively. Then we had the symbolic burning of the bad things from 2005. I got the idea from my dad. We wrote down all the unpleasant, unexpected, and bad things that happened in 2005, things we would like not to happen in the new year then we burn it. In the living room in a pot of course. (I had water on hand just in case) It was symbolic, it was like releasing all the arguing, procrastination, bad planning, money mishaps and everything else that plagued 2005. I felt inspired watching the paper burn and once it was reduced to ashes I felt lighter. I suggest it for everyone. Anyways, after that it was party time. We had a little get together at our house. It was small about 10 people came including my cousin. I made strawberry dacari's with my new smoothie maker. We took shots as we went around in a circle and stated one resolution for the new year. Played Monopoly, Uno and Spades. It's funny but Monopoly gets real competitve when you are tipsy. People were buying up hotels and three or four houses. It was crazy. I was the banker. Anyways, as the New Year counted down, we poured everyone a glass of Moscato and the shouted in the year. I got a loving kiss from my "hubby" and we are both determined to make 2006 the best year.

Everybody is doing it, so....

2005-12-20T19:52:00.000-08:00

A Day in the Life

6:30 a.m. Wake Up, naturally. Yeah, I don't really need alarm clocks. Sometimes but its set just in case.

7:00 a.m. "Hubby" arrives home from work. We chat for a while until the fact that he'd been up working all night starts to attack his body and he crashes.

7:20 a.m. Wash face, brush teeth, get dressed, do makeup (if I feel like it, I didn't this morning). Kiss "hubby" goodbye.

7:40 a.m. Get pawed incessantly by hungry cats as I fix their food. Fix my lunch and water bottle for the day.

7:50 a.m.Leave for work, late as usual.

8:10 a.m. Arrive at work, late but before everyone else. Put food in refrigerator, fix hot water and coffee.

8:20 a.m. Log onto my computer, check email, read blogs. Get my daily advice from DailyOM email, print to share with "hubby".

9:45 a.m. Someone comes in with some actual work for me to do, type travel requisitions and purchase requisitions. Fax this, do that. Unlock the door for maintenance to fix broken whatchamajig.

11:15 a.m. There is usually a lull in the day were people are in classes and busy doing other things were I get time to do some of my own busy work like retyping some old stories I wrote in high school, working on my current novel, updating my blog.

12:00 p.m. Lunchtime. I usually don't take a lunch. I eat my lunch at my desk so that I can continue working on what I want to work on.

1:45 p.m. Work from others comes again, find student folders, copy stuff for students, track down work study students and get them to run errands and check the mail.

3:45 p.m. Professors and Boss start trickling away. It starts to get quiet and I'm able to continue working on my stuff and checking blogs.

4:20 p.m. Someone always comes in last minute with something for me to do. Last minute fax, type, unlock doors, something.

4:30 p.m. Head home, the back way as to avoid traffic.

4:50 p.m. Arrive home. Sit on couch and talk to "hubby" about what ever, work that day, his work the night before, what he watched on TV.

5:30 p.m. Stare aimlessly at the TV, preferably watching three back to back episodes of That 70's Show. Argue back and forth about what to eat for dinner and who is cooking. We usually end up with some joint effort cooking. Feed my picky eating cats the rest of the food from the morning feeding.

6:30 p.m. Eat while compromising on what to watch, since he loves the Sci-Fi channel (yuck) and I prefer watching things like Girlfriends and America's Next Top Model. We can always compromise on the History Channel or Animal Planet. (sidenote: My home currently sucks all the creative juice from ones body and forces them to the couch in a semicomatose state to stare at the TV and/or watch the cats attack each other and ball of string hanging from the ceiling)

9:00 p.m. We usually get stuck in a really good conversation just as its time for him to get ready for work. I make a thermos of coffee for him as we yell through the house trying to keep the conversation going as he gets ready for work.

9:45 p.m. He kisses me goodbye and heads off to work. I secure the doors, clean the kitchen, cut off all the lights and head upstairs. I shower, watch a little more TV.

10:30 p.m. Out like a light.

Saturday's and Sunday's are the only days when real productivity takes place. After work nothing gets accomplished. I said I was going to limit my TV watching to an hour so that I could do more productive things around the house but its hard. My couch is so comfortable and my TV is so big. I'm working on it though. It's part of my New Years Resolution.

What is the True Spirit of Christmas?

2005-12-14T06:35:00.000-08:00

Is Christmas to Commercial?

During this time of year and with the age of chaos we are living in at these times, I hear a lot of really religious people stating that Christmas has gotten too commercial or people are taking Christ out of Christmas. Hearing these statements all too much prompted me to do some research as to Where did Christmas come from?

Ok, basically the celebration of Christmas can be broken down into every culture on the earth almost. First, according to Mesopotamian history Christmas started 4000 years ago, before Christ was even born. To them it was the arrival of winter and their God Marduk who did battle with the monsters of chaos until the new years. The Persians and Babylonians celebrated Sacaea during this time of year where they would change places between slaves and owners. Early Europeans feared that as winter came and days got shorter that the sun wouldn't return therefore they did several rituals to make sure the sun returned. In Scandinavia during winter the sun would leave for days, scouts would be sent to the mountain top to wait for a sign of the sun. When they saw a sign of the sun they would celebrate Yuletide with festivals and feast. The Romans celebrated their god Saturn with a festival called Saturnalia which started middle of December and went until January. Basically, Christmas started out as a celebration of the winter solistice and the winter season. Some where celebrating that the hardest part of winter was behind them, others were celebrating the return of the sun.

Christians celebration of Christmas didn't come into place until the 4th century when church officials decided to institute a celebration for the birth of Jesus until then Easter was the main holiday celebrated. Technically, its believed that Jesus was probably actually born in the Spring due to the fact that shepards where herding during his birth. However, Pope Julius I chose December 25th. It's believed that he chose that date to use some of the traditions of the pagan Saturnalia festival. It was first called the Feast of the Nativity then Christmas. By holding Christmas so close to other celebrations such as the Winter Solstice, Saturnalia, Sacaea etc. the early christians felt it would popularize their celebration, which it did. Christians went to church on Christmas then celebrated by drinking, eating, and raucous behavior. It wasn't until the 19th century when Americans began to embrace Christmas. They changed it from the carnival festival atmosphere of celebration to a more family centered peaceful holiday.

So my question is, What is the true spirit of Christmas? Is it the tradition we were raised with, the tree, the santa, the gifts, the family? When I was younger I always separated the Christian beliefs from all holidays. Once I learned that holiday was derived from the pagan holy day. I was a christian and I felt that Christmas, Thanksgiving, Halloween, Easter etc had nothing to do with church. Christmas was for presents, Thanksgiving was for turkey, Halloween was for candy, Easter was for eggs and that was it. It was easier for me that way. I could celebrate Halloween and not feel like it was an unholy day because technically to me they were all unholy days.

Now I feel like Christmas is what you want it to be. I feel like it's a time of year to truly celebrate the family. Commericialism is everywhere in everyday life. And if some one is gulliable enough to believe that if you love your wife you must by her diamonds, then by all means, buy her diamonds but Christmas is just one day. It's the Winter Season I celebrate. It's the time of year that every one is a little more giving, a little more loving, a little more in debt but even that's ok if it is showing appreciation to those you love and those who love you. It's cold outside and you have to bundle up and get cozy, drink hot chocolate and light a fireplace. You hang beautiful lights, drive around and look at other decorations, prepare meals and enjoy life and happiness. To me, that is the true meaning of Christmas. If you want to buy your kids more toys then you bought all year, that's fine. If you want to buy them one special gift and spend the whole day playing with that one toy, that's fine. If you want to spend the day talking about the birth of Jesus Christ and how good of a God God is, that's fine too.

I personally love Christmas. It gives me a warm fuzzy feeling inside, its not about the gifts, it about the time of year. So celebrate Christmas, celebrate Yule, celebrate the Winter Solstice, celebrate Hanukkah, celebrate Kwanzza, celebrate Life. Just Celebrate. Use this time of year to celebrate the end of a year, good or bad, happy or sad. Celebrate this as the time of fellowship, worship, looking back, looking forward and getting ready for the new year.

The commerciality of Christmas doesn't hurt you. Commercials don't reach off the TV and put a gun to your head and force you to Toys rUs. Kids beg for toys all year round. Life is commercial. Everyday is commercial. In the end, Christmas is what you decide for it to be.

Tookie is Executed

2005-12-13T07:25:00.000-08:00

Without apology and atonement...there can be no redemption

Well, I knew it was going to happen, last night at 12:35 a.m. Stanley "Tookie" Williams conceded to the injection of lethal poison which was put into his arms. What can you say? The step-mother of one of the murdered said, now justice is served. But is it really? Twenty Six years after the murders, this man has lived and breathed and now for something he "did" over two decades ago, he's gone.

In Gov. Schwarzeneggers' statement he said, 'without apology and atonement for these senseless and brutal killings there can be no redemption'. I understand him making that statement. Tookie never asked forgiveness for killing those people so how could he be forgiven? Basically Tookie, to his death, denied that he killed the four people he was convicted of killing. If he would have just admitted, yes, I killed these people. I'm so so so sorry. I'll never do it again. He would have lived? He would have been granted clemancy and life is prison? I highly doubt it. It seems he chose to die maintaining his innocence rather than apologize and see what the outcome would have been.

What we do know is that he wrote from experience about gangs and gang violence which changed the lives of thousand of at risk teenagers. He orchestrated truces between rival gangs. He wrote books about his life, about gangs. I think he wrote honestly and honesty reaches the right people. Downside was that he wasn't in jail for gang activity, for starting a gang that took off in a way no one could have imagined. He was in jail for the murder of four people. The good works he did weren't enough to outweigh the bad he did and the lives he "took". The only way he could make amends for murder was to give his life.

The thing that confuses me is, why didn't he just admit he shot and killed four people. Why? He was already convicted of it. He was easing his conscience by helping young people by displaying the negativity of gang violence. Why not toss in there I'm sorry for murder? Gang Violence leads to murder which is why I'm on death row? Why not enter the experience of taking the lives of innocent people? Why didn't he talk about the mistake he made in pulling the trigger and watching four people die? Why? Maybe he didn't do it. Maybe he just didn't want to admit that he did. Either way, it confuses my mind.

Whether or not he killed those people just went to the grave with him but what we do know for a fact is that the state of California killed him.

R.I.P.

Stanley "Tookie" Williams

1954 - 2005

The World of Make Believe

2005-12-08T09:17:00.000-08:00

Is nothing sacred anymore?

When I'm not reading other blogs online, my main online activity is reading celebrity news. I like keeping up with what's going on in tinsel town and seeing how celebrities live their lives. What I've noticed lately is the massive amounts of celebrity splits and divorces. Let me just name a few in the recent months.

Jennifer Aniston/Brad Pitt Divorced
Jessica Simpson/Nick Lachey Divorced (I was really shocked by this one. I loved the Newlyweds)
Renee Zilwegger/Kenny Chesney Divorced
Christina Applegate/Johnathon Schaech Divorced
Halle Berry/Eric Benet Divorced
Nicole Ritchie/DJ AM Split before Marriage

The list goes on and on. There are many many more but these are the ones that stand out to me. It's like everyday I get on the internet I see a report of another celebrity couple splitting up. I know it can't be that hard to find love and stay in love. You see happy pictures one day and divorce announcements the next. What is the problem with hollywood couples. Is it the money? Are broke couples happier? Is it the paparazzi? I know it has to be hard to live you relationship in the media though. How do other hollywood couples do it?

I think compatiblity is a serious factor. I mean, let's take J.Lo of instance. She's been married twice and was engaged to Ben. Now, all three of her men were good looking, very attractive. Then she marries Marc Anthony and I'm not one to talk about anybody but bleech. Yet she's been married for long then all three of her previous relationships combined. Let's look at Janet. Although she isn't married to Jermaine Dupree, they have been together for a long time. So the stars who got divorces, do you think they married for superficial reasons? Maybe they just weren't in love to begin with.

Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston shocked me. I didn't expect their demise. Now if Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillipe divorce I may just shed a tear.

But you know what? Thoughout all this Bobby and Whitney are still going strong.

Cocaine is a hell of a drug. Ha Ha

What city do I belong in?

2005-12-08T09:14:00.000-08:00

You Belong in Rome

You're a big city girl with a small town heartWhich is why you're attracted to the romance of RomeStrolling down picture perfect streets, cappuccino in handAnd gorgeous Italian men - could life get any better?

M.I.A.

2005-12-07T09:57:00.000-08:00

I'm getting old.

I'm sorry I've been lost in a despression for the last few days. My birthday just past and I am now 4 steps closer to 30. It's not getting older that bothers me. Believe me, I welcome more time on earth, its just I'm feeling the pressures of the future. I always thought by now, I'd have at least one child, be married, and in my career, making money, living in a big house. I know realize that may have been a bit ambitious for 25 those were the goals I set for my 25th birthday. Now I'm 26 and it is depressing to realize not only am I not a mother nor am I married, I haven't even started my career let alone live in a big house. I have friends who are married w/children, living in nice houses or closing on one soon. But the career element isn't in place. They work jobs to pay bills but neither are doing what they planned to do. Am I sacrificing my happiness and past goals in search of a satisfying career?

I am so unsatisfied with my current job it's pitiful. It's not the people because I lucked out and work with some really nice people but as I look around my position in the place feels oddly demeaning. I'm a secretary and I'm not dissing secretaries but I do feel like people I come in contact with look at me like, oh she's just a secretary, all she does is run errands and type memos for those really in charge. Which is true I do all of the above and then some but its not fulfilling. I know, I'm crying like a spoiled baby because I know a lot of people who would kill for my 8-430 schedule, paid holidays and hooked up office equipment but this isn't what I was meant to do.

Anyways, I'm starting to come out of my depression and beginning to look at the bright side of things. So I haven't accomplished everything I said I was going to accomplish by 25 and now I'm a year late but maybe it isn't time for me to accomplish such things. Maybe my time for marriage, children, mortages, and fabulous careers is at 30. I'm still trying to find myself and get more comfortable in my own skin and my own beliefs so maybe it was my friends times for husbands, children and houses but subconsciously I'm not ready yet. I'm enjoying spending time with my "hubby" in a childless apartment with our two kitty cats and maybe we are supposed to grow together first before taking that plunge.

Anyways, I feel better now. See !

Tookie Update

2005-11-29T09:06:00.000-08:00

* Gov. Schwarzenegger has agreed to hold an extremely rare meeting with the condemmed death row inmate's lawyers on December 8th. His execution date is still set for December 13th. We will all just have to wait and see what happens. *

Thanksgiving Weekend

2005-11-28T20:37:00.000-08:00

Holiday update in full effect!
Ok, so Thanksgiving has come and gone. One thing I can be thankful for this year is that I didn't engorge myself on food to the point that I was comatose. I didn't go into hyperglycemic shock from mass amounts of sugar intake. Probably because I didn't cook at my house, we went to my Aunt's house and had a blast.

Families are funny because you take a group of people that most of the time have only one thing in common, that they are related. I am surrounded by extended family, my parents and siblings are in another state so my closeness with my extended family is growing more and more. There is nothing I like better then to see a house full of people laughing and talking. It warms my heart.

Anyways, the night I like to call Thanksgiving Eve, we rented several movies. Two of which were ok movies (War of the Worlds and The Honeymooners) but the third movie Crash was amazing. (If you haven't seen it, check it out).

This movie is a must see for all races.(for those of you who haven't seen it, you might not want to read this part. Even though I'm not giving away the movie, but still)

When this movie first started, the racism in the language hits you in the face but what you must realize is that no one in this movie seemed outwardly racist. It was the conversations you have behind the scenes with people closest to you, the words you say out of frustration and anger, and accidents that if you were thinking straight would never have happened. The tag line for this movie was, You think you know who you are. You have no idea. People in this movie come in contact with situations that the viewer can speculate on how they would have reacted but its just speculation. Until you are presented with the exact situation, you don't know how you will react. You know how you would hope to react, but not the real reaction. Almost every race is represented in this movie and every race has some form of racism they inflict and that they must deal with. I had no idea what this movie was above when I rented it. Everyone just told me it was real good. And it was.

Turkey Day!

2005-11-23T13:00:00.000-08:00

I hope everyone has a happy Thanksgiving!

Don't eat too much!

See ya Monday!

www.SaveTookie.org

2005-11-22T08:01:00.000-08:00

Gov. Schwarzenblahblah the power is in your hands.

Stanley "Tookie" Williams the notorious co-founder of the nationally recognized crips gang is asking for clemency from Gov. Schwarzenegger after the U.S. Supreme Court denied his appeal and set his execution date for December 13, 2005.

Ok, on one hand, this man and his friend Raymond Washington started the Crips and even though he claims his intention was to protect his neighborhood from the other small gangs who were terrorizing women and children, it metamorphed into a ruthless gang that ended up terrorizing the neighborhood they started out trying to protect and for 8 years he immersed himself and embraced the gang life. In 1979, Raymond was murdered and Tookie was sent to jail but the gang was still thriving and terrorizing. To me, he is responsible for more murders then just the four he was sent to jail for. In the 80's and 90's, members of the crips died and killed millions of young black men, women, ruined families and destroyed communities. Indirectly, isn't he responsible?

On the other hand, while in jail after spending 6 1/2 years in solitary confinement for not being a model prisoner, he emerged transformed, he wrote children's book on the ills of gang violence and participation, he has spoke to various young at risk groups of kids from jail about not turning to gang violence, he even came up with a Protocol for Peace , the one thing he hasn't done is renounce his membership in the gang (although he has warned kids not to join gangs). He has supporters like Snoop Dogg rallying for his life. Many young people have read his books and letters and based on them decided not to join a gang or got out of the one they were in. So in 25 years, he has actually helped save thousands of lives and was actually nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize.

Ok, so the big question is Does he Live or Die? His supporters are stating that they aren't asking for his freedom, just his life. They feel there are a lot of loopholes in his case, circumstantial evidence, civil liberties violations and obvious racism in the trial process. Who is to decide whether this man is fit to live. The governor? The various people advising him? The psychologist who try to determine whether he is really sorry or not? I think it's cruel to allow someone to live 25 years after their sentencing and then kill them. People change in 25 years. I think if you are going to have the death penalty enforce it when the person is still in the same mindset. Don't allow them to ponder life, recognize the error of their ways and once they are starting understand life and the gravity of it, kill them.

I once believed in the death penalty, I felt an eye for an eye, you shoot somebody, you deserve to get shot but now I'm not so sure. It has nothing to do with this case but I don't like the idea of one person deciding whether or not you deserve to live. Can the person who makes that decision truly have a conscience. California doesn't have a good track record in granting clemency's, in fact they have never granted clemency since the death penalty was re-enacted in 1977. And once that last appeal is denied, the only choice you have is gas or injection.

He might not deserve to be free and on the street but he does deserve to live.

I guess we will have to wait and see how his Holy, Great and Powerful Schwarzenegger feels that day.

Cracked. Me. Up.

2005-11-21T18:21:00.000-08:00

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!
It's sad because its true. And they got Ja Rule looking like gollum. HA HA HA! I'm sorry.

Snippet

2005-11-21T12:44:00.000-08:00

I am an aspiring published writer. I am going to post a copyrighted snippet of one of my books just to get some feedback. So let me know if this snippet makes you want to read the rest of the book.

prologue

In retrospect all things make sense. Not landing that job you felt was your dream job or not winning the lottery you tried all your life to win or losing the one person in life you needed so much, all these things happen for a reason and when you look back you understand that reason. Life is a journey. Everyday in every way something new and unexpected happens. You may not realize it while it happens but one day you will. It’s amazing how people touch your lives. How they come and go and leave a lasting impression on you even if they only spent a second with you. Their presence can last an eternity. Life is made up of seconds. A day consists of 3,542,400 seconds, so think of how many seconds you have in a lifetime? But all it takes is one to change your life forever. I now value every second of every day. Once you realize that every second counts there are no more snap decisions and unthought out plans, you have to think everything though and respect every second you have. It took me a very long while to realize that. We are all put here for a purpose. You may never know what your purpose in life is or in one second of one day you will recognize your purpose. People search all their lives to find out the meaning of life. Why am I here? What is my purpose? Why is my life so hard and everyone elses is so easy? In one blessed second all those questions will be answered. Some people say you don’t find out what your purpose in life is until you die. Some people are lucky enough to find out their purpose before then. I envied those people. Those people who walked around with smiles and determination because they knew what life is supposed to be about. I walked around lost for most of my life, feeling like I was a missing person that no one was looking for. No search parties, no amber alerts, no pictures on milk cartons. It took time for me to realize that I was the one missing me. To everyone else I was right there but to me, I was nowhere to be found. If you spend your life searching you will never find what you are looking for. I can say that now that my search has ended and I’ve realized I’m right in front of my face. I couldn’t see myself for looking. I did have people in my life to guide me on my search, my mom, my dad, my brothers, my friends but I had to let them all go so I could complete my search. I’m not saying that now I have all the answers but I definitely understand life a lot better. Without all those people leaving their one imprint on my life I would have been lost for sure. I believe that no one dies before their destiny is fulfilled. There is no such thing as a senseless death. As you read this story you will wonder how I can say that but I have to believe it. Don’t get me wrong there are senseless act of violence which may result in death but God has the ultimate say so in who lives or dies. Think about that person who is in a fiery unbelievable car crash and walks away from it or that person who gets a real bad cold and dies of pneumonia. None of this is by chance. Its all part of a plan we know nothing about. God doesn’t take you before you have completed your role in life. Your destiny may not be to conquer the world or find a cure for AIDS or something like that. It may be to be the one second in someone else’s life that changes them forever. I’m not here to preach because I’m hardly a preacher. I don’t claim to understand everything but I understand a lot more now, in retrospect. My life was filled with a few very important seconds. Very important people who shaped those seconds. Here are those seconds.

Something new to get use to

2005-11-18T09:17:00.000-08:00

Another Friday Sendoff
My "husband" just got a new job which is great especially considering the fact that he will be making a lot more money. We need more money but the down side, he will be working from 10pm to 6am Sunday through Thursday. Return of the lonely bed for me. Upside, Christmas will be good, bills will be paid, and my cats won't be homeless.

Moving along...

I am, once again, glad it is Friday. Eventhough the majority of my weekend will be spent babysitting and cleaning, at least I will be at home. I finally got a bookcase for my livingroom so I could unpack the huge box of books sitting in my dining room. I'm happy for that eventhough all of them wouldn't fit and I'm going to have to purchase another one. Also, I don't care what any body else says, I'm putting up my Christmas lights this weekend and that's that. I'm going to wait on the tree but the lights outside are going up. Does anybody have any tips on how to keep a cat from climbing the Christmas tree? This will be my first Christmas with cats and I have to have a tree. I was trying to figure out how to attach it to the wall or something. I know at least one of my cats will try to climb the tree. We call him lil badass.

Seven Things

2005-11-16T15:11:00.000-08:00

I am afraid of...
spiders, bees and anything else that can bite or sting me
weather related destruction
terrorist and suicide bombers
people who don't believe in at least one god
dying too young
clowns.
flying in a airplane

I like...
watching sunrises/sunsets
cool breezes
writing and creating characters
feel of water on my skin
being in love
getting lost in a good book
hanging with a 2 year old and forgetting I'm an adult

In my bedroom, you'll find...
a kingsized, pillowtop bed
candles
books
a television
probably at least one cup or plate
my guardian angel
art

Secrets...
I wish I could speak another language
I can't wait to be a mother
I am addicted to chocolate
I love romantic movies
I hyperventilate easily
I am afraid of being alone
I want at least 3 more tattoos

I can...
whistle pretty good
be a tad antisocial
smile when I'm sad
help others when I can't help myself
put a positive spin on anything
be bossy
drive and paint my nails at the same time

I cannot...
juggle
watch scary movies
sit quietly when something upsets me
watch anything being tortured
see someone crying without crying myself
be trapped in an enclosed space
sleep without the TV on

Attracts me to the opposite sex...
deep, intriguing eyes
lots of ambition
beautiful smile
intelligent conversation
strong build
ability to make me smile
stong beliefs

I say the most...
um
ok
anyways
whatever
hello
I Love You
bye

2005-11-15T06:59:00.000-08:00

Have you ever felt all the love rush out of your body?

It hurts.

Almost to Cynical for Words

2005-11-10T10:45:00.000-08:00

Staff Meetings, Bah!

Today my normal daily activities were interrupted by a "important" staff senate meeting. You know where the President or CEO sings your praises. You are the MVPs. We couldn't run the place without you. You are an intricate blah blah blah. Oh and by the way there will be no raises nor holiday bonuses this year. Just for you guys though, I'm still going to get mine. MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Don't get me wrong I know bonuses are a perk but when you are use to getting one and you don't get on because of something that has nothing to do with your job, its hard not to be a little pissed. I'm just a secretary. I don't make the 6 figure salaries like the President or Deans and Faculty. I was counting on my bonus. And the fact that everyone danced around it at the meeting even though its all anyone talks about among themselves was pitiful. Did I bring it up? No. It was like there was a elephant dancing on the stage behind the President saying, 'I got your money. I got your money.'

Whatever. I'm just venting.

Another School Shooting

2005-11-09T06:35:00.000-08:00

In Tennessee, no less.

Being raised in Denver since I was 3, the Columbine shooting affected me kind of hard. I didn't know anyone personally that went to the school. I remember visiting there for something in Middle School. But just the thought that two teenagers killed so many people and that they planned every aspect of it weighed on my mind. It weighed on my mind to the point where I was obsessed with it. I had to see every image, read everything about it, learn every piece of information. I wanted to literally climb inside the brains of Eric and Dylan and see exactly what they saw and why. (I felt the same way about the 9/11 incident).

Yesterday on TV they showed the picture of the little boy (he looks so young) who shot at the school in a town not far from Knoxville, TN. I was shocked when I saw his innocent looking face with blood splattered on his shirt. I couldn't imagine what could possess this boy to kill his asst. Principal and shoot the other asst. Principal and Principal. Now I've had teachers piss me off and I have people on a daily basis that just rack my nerves but to put a gun in my purse and say to myself, 'Today you are going to kill somebody' I couldn't do it.

I have the idea in my head that I may choose teaching as a career choice (one of many) but the idea of school shootings scares me. I'm not afraid that I'll make a student mad enough to want to kill me. I'm more worried about the thought of looking into all those eyes and wondering which one of them is hurting inside to the point that they might murder and what can I do about it?

John Kerry sent me an email

2005-11-03T14:32:00.000-08:00

Dear Hippielalah,

We're doing what we set out to do -- putting the hardest questions about the direction of President Bush's Iraq policy front and center and demanding a specific timetable from the President about when our troops can come home. The major speech I delivered yesterday has generated an amazing response.
If you haven't yet seen excerpts of the speech, click here.

I'm writing today to ask you to join me in demanding that the Bush administration immediately put forward a detailed plan with target dates for the transfer of military and police responsibilities to Iraqis so the majority of our combat forces can be withdrawn and start coming home to their families. Our brave troops require leadership equal to their incredible sacrifices.
Please sign our Citizens' Petition on Iraq right now

As I made clear yesterday, there is no reason Iraq cannot be relatively stable, no reason the majority of our combat troops can't soon be on their way home, and no reason we can't take on a new role in Iraq, as an ally not an occupier, training Iraqis to defend themselves by the end of 2006.

Now, I need your help to put pressure on Republican members of Congress to stop going along with the Bush administration's disastrous "stay as long as it takes" approach and to start exercising their critical oversight role.
It may take months of effort and organizing by all of us to break through. But, I promise you this, we won't stop working until we do. If Bush doesn't act, we'll demand that Congress steps in to fill the void.
You can help right now by signing our petition demanding that President Bush deliver a concrete, detailed plan to Congress and the American people.
http://www.johnkerry.com/petition/iraq.php
Let's work together to create the kind of enormous public pressure it's going to take to force George W. Bush to change course in Iraq. I urge you to stay engaged in this effort.

Sincerely,

John Kerry

P.S. We're going to have to move mountains to get the Bush administration to change course. Please forward this essential petition to as many people as possible right now.

I signed it, will you?

What the...

2005-11-03T09:49:00.000-08:00

On a daily basis I find myself asking myself What the (enter own explicitive here). Everyday some new causes me to scratch my head in wonderment. It could be something I read, something someone did or said, or something I did that caught me off guard. Today, it's something someone else did. I wonder why people can't just leave well enough alone. It's like your mother tells you if you pick at a scab you will make it bleed but you just have to pick at it then once it starts hurting and blood running you look for that same mother that told you not to pick at it in the first place. I have a strict life philosophy of live and let live. I don't not thrive on gossip because it's pointless. You talking about my life will do nothing to help yours and vica versa. I wish there was a magic potion (with no side affects) that you could just give people to give them a happy pleasant attitude or make them mute. Either would work just fine. I know you are wanting to know the point to my rants but their isn't one. Just letting off some steam.

Stand up for Love

2005-11-02T07:29:00.000-08:00

Am I a bad person because I don't like Destiny's Child's new song, "Stand Up for Love"?

Click Here if you haven't heard it.

Halloween Sucked!

2005-11-01T09:08:00.000-08:00

*pout* No, trick or treaters came to my door. *pout*

I know I live in an apartment and all the apartment kids chose to Trick or Treat in the neighborhood down the street as opposed to Trick or Treating in the apartment complex. I can't blame them though because only about two people in the apartment complex hands out candy. I didn't get to take my godson trick or treating because my BFF (1) didn't buy him a costume and (2) she didn't get off of work until 8:30. I can't wait until I have a house and can decorate for halloween like I want to. Kids were going around smashing pumpkins last year so I didn't even bother.

I don't know if I'm hanging with the wrong crowd or what but no one is excited about Halloween anymore. I would have liked to have gone to an adult Halloween party were everyone dresses up in costumes. I wanted to host my own but everyone thinks they're too old for dressing up or they are to lame to put any creativity in dressing up. I don't know maybe next year.

Boondocks! The Show!

2005-10-28T22:06:00.000-07:00

OMG! I can't wait. This is my favorite comic strip and now its going to be on adult swim (which I'm forced to watch everynight anyways). Now I have three shows on adult swim to look forward too. (Aqua Teen Hunger Force cracks me up)

Don't miss it.

Sunday, Nov. 6th @ 11/10 c.t.

only on [Adult Swim]

TGIF!

2005-10-28T09:45:00.000-07:00

It's Friday Night and mood is right! Gonna have some fun, show you how it's done! TGIF!

I know you remember that jingle when TGIF use to come on back in day on ABC with Steve Urkel and stuff. 'Member? You 'member! Anyways.

Friday, whew freakin' hew. I can't wait to sleep late tomorrow. The "husband" has to work overtime tomorrow and Sunday. Poor baby but at least we get to set the clocks back and gain an hour of sleep on Sunday morning. Not that I will need it because I plan to be fully rested.

I haven't been sleeping well lately and I don't know why that is. It's not just in the mornings anymore its at night too. Like last night, I tossed and turned I felt like I didn't sleep a wink. I don't get it. I'm usually a hard sleeper. I rarely dream and I wake up in a good mood but lately I have nightmares, wake up with headaches and on the wrong side of the bed (figurately not literally) I don't know, maybe I need to see a shrink. Anyways, I will try my hardest to make up for it on Sat. and Sun.

Monday is halloween. I'm supposed to go trick or treating with my 2 year old godson but my BFF has yet to by him a costume. It's supposed to be cold so I say we just put him in a coat and draw a nose and whiskers on his face and call it a day. I'm looking for a costume for my cats. I think they will look cute in this:

TricK or TreaT !!!

That would be too funny. Both of then would be so mad at me if I did that but I am going to try to find some and post some pictures of them. See, this is what you do when you don't have kids yet, you abuse your pets by making them dress in ridiculous costumes for your amusement. Then once you have kids you do the same to then. Isn't life fun!

Ok, enough. See you Monday.

Peace.

ARRGGGHHHH!

2005-10-27T09:04:00.000-07:00

I'm surrounded by corrupt politicians!

Ok, I'm consider myself a classical liberal (definition Here) and a peaceful anarchist(definition Here). Lately with all the CIA investigations and the corruption, money laundering and scheming senators both local and national, I find myself questioning who are these people and who exactly are they representing? It's just all too much. Greed is destroying America. It just kills me when people in high paying, high profile jobs feel the need to abuse the system. You expect a bum to steal when times get hard and desperate (not saying its ok but it's expected) but a senator, a state representative. Why? Is your current Lexus not comfortable enough? Your current house not big enough? I just don't get it. I'm poor but do I come up with schemes to take money that doesn't belong to me?

Other nations look at us like heathens with no morals, bad children, and overweight society where violence runs rampant. It's rather sad. This is the supposed to be the land of opportunity. Don't get me wrong America is a great place, I wouldn't want to live anywhere else (except maybe London) but I feel that we are portrayed by our leaders and they make us all look bad. Are things going to have to get worse before they get better?

I know every generation has its share of corruption but my question is this if this government which is basically run by our parents generation is like this, what is the state of the nation going to be like when my generation gets in the government position? Will it be better or worse?

Breath of Fresh Air

2005-10-26T12:24:00.000-07:00

Have you ever met someone and wished you could be like them?

I'm not talking about looking like someone, I'm talking about their personality. I wouldn't change much about me but I'm not a talkative, outgoing person. I'm the type that has to warm up to people before I talk. I'm cordial, I smile alot (Remember) but as far as talking to complete strangers and making friends I'm not good at that. I guess that's why my closest friends are like that, my BFF and my "husband". Both of them can talk to anybody about anything and make that person feel like they have known them forever. I always wished I was like that.

Today I went to lunch with a group of colleagues. One of my colleagues invited me and two other women to lunch with their lunch bunch. Me, being my shy quiet smiley self, didn't expect too conversate to much. For one I was the youngest, newest employee so that in and of itself causes a little introvertedness. But my colleague (I'll just call him Mr. Friendly) was the life of the party. He made lunch so fun. He talked to everyone even people who weren't in our party. He befriended these two older white lady's who looked like on any other circumstance they wouldn't fraternize with a mid-aged black man but they loved him. They just kept saying he was so nice and friendly. It got to the point that they joined in our conversation and got his business card promising to send him a card when he retires in June 2006. I watched all of this like, why can't I be like that? I feel like sometimes I come off wrong like I'm standoffish but I'm not.

How do you become more outgoing? Most of the time I just don't have nothing to say. I guess I just have to be the listener among all the outgoing ones. It's great to be around people like that that lift your spirits just by being themselves whose aura radiates happiness. I just had to mention him especially when their are so many people in the world (at work especially) who bring you down.

Dream, a crazy Dream

2005-10-25T20:09:00.000-07:00

If you are a dream interpreter, please let me know what this means.

Ok, this morning my little hour of sleep was disturbed. I've decided no more naps for me. See, my "husband" goes to work at 4:30 am. So after I drop him off and get back I fix my lunch and go back to sleep. I only get about an hour of sleep from about 5:45 to 7:00 am. Lately, every morning during that hour I have a nightmare, or morningmare if you will, then I wake up for work feeling worse then I did when I got up at 4. It's really bothering me because I want that sleep time but instead of feeling refreshed I feel drained. Anyways, here's the dream.

Let me give some background first. I'm extremely close to my parents eventhough they live 1,000 miles away. I talk to my mom everyday. I'm afraid of weather related issues. Tornados, Hurricanes, Earthquakes, scare the bejesus out of me. When I lived alone I would run to my aunts house everytime there was a tornado watch/warning and spend the night there. Ok, so my dream started off on my lunch break. My "husband" and I went to the grocery store. He was walking around all slow and I was rushing him because I had to get back to work. So we fussed alittle but ended up leaving. I remember telling him that my parents were in town and I wanted to see them. Then suddenly I'm at home, alone. Not my real house but in the dream it was my house. It's still my lunch break but I was putting on my pajamas and getting in the bed. I guess to take a nap like I'd done that morning. All of sudden I hear my "husband's" voice but he's not there. I look out the window and it's so dark and cloudy. The wind is blowing hard. It almost looks like nighttime, then the siren's start going off. The house starts shaking from the wind and I start calling, out loud not on the phone, my "husband", my mom, my dad and no one comes. So I'm screaming and crying, I don't know what to do then I hear a voice. It's a calm, quiet voice unlike anyone that I know. It says, "Get the blanket and go in the room." This door appears at the base of the first floor livingroom. I open the door and the room is small, wooden, and triangle shaped. Meaning the ceiling slants to meet the floor in the corner. So theres a pillow and the voice says, "Lay down and rest." So I laid down and fell asleep. I didn't hear nothing or feel nothing. Then the voice says, "Everything is ok now. It's time. Wake up." So I wake up (in the dream) and I'm in the room. It's eerily quiet. I open the door and the whole triangle shaped room is in the middle of the street in front of the house. The sun is shining, birds are chirping. It's perfect. The house is alittle messed up but not much so I climb out of the room and walk back into the house. I look around, a few things are messed up but nothing major. Then I start thinking I have to find my mom, my dad, and my "husband" as soon as I think that, the siren goes off again. So I rush over to the dresser and start dressing as fast as I can. It gets cloudy again then my alarm clock goes off and I wake up for real.

What could that mean? Why was I alone when I was with my "husband" at first? Does it mean that I can weather the storm alone? Or that I will have to? And that I will be ok? I don't like going to tough things alone. I was so confused by that dream. I woke up sad and with a bad headache (but I always wake up with a headache when I dream).

So if anyone out there can interpret dreams, please tell me what that one means.

Tribute to Rosa Parks

2005-10-24T20:52:00.000-07:00

Updated: 2:13 a.m. ET Oct. 25, 2005
DETROIT - Rosa Parks, whose refusal to give up her bus seat to a white man sparked the modern civil rights movement, died Monday evening. She was 92.

Mrs. Parks died at her home during the evening of natural causes, with close friends by her side, said Gregory Reed, an attorney who represented her for the past 15 years.

Mrs. Parks was 42 when she committed an act of defiance in 1955 that was to change the course of American history and earn her the title "mother of the civil rights movement."

It's a sad thing when people who were so influential in a movement that changed the lives of an entire race die. What she saw as an insignificant event in the course of initiated a demand for change throughout the nation. "At the time I was arrested I had no idea it would turn into this," Mrs. Parks said 30 years later. "It was just a day like any other day. The only thing that made it significant was that the masses of the people joined in."

People fail to realize its the small things that make the biggest differences. The way you approach situations determine the outcome and because she resisted in a calm manner the result was an outpouring of concern and action.

As African-Americans or Black Americans our leaders, the people who changed america for good and allowed us to reap the benefits of their hard work and sacifice are dying or dead. It's time for their children and grandchildren to step up in their place. Martin Luther King was only 26 when he started the movement. Think about it.

Anyways, this tribute is to Rosa Parks, the Mother of the Civil Rights Movement.

Slippin' on my pimpin'

2005-10-18T06:48:00.000-07:00

I know I haven't kept up daily like I was supposed to. And I also know that posting quiz results, one liners, and poetry that I didn't write doesn't make up for it. I promise I will get on the ball. I've been doing a lot of writing on my free time. I wrote a manuscript and I gave it to my BFF to read. She finished and demanded a sequel so I'm working on that. Hopefully soon, I'll have my published book posted on my site for purchase.

Keep your fingers crossed for me.

Prayer for Calm and Comfort

2005-10-17T08:52:00.000-07:00

With your soothing fingers,
wipe away the lines that worries have etched on our faces.

Surround us with calm,
let us rest in the glow of peace,
as if we were encircled with the Moon's own light.
Let our concerns and tensions drain away from us,
pouring as water into your earth.

From Beliefnet.com, by Ceisiwr Serith

Skipping in the woods

2005-10-14T09:09:00.000-07:00

Is your Mother (Nature) trying to tell you something?

Earthquakes...Floods...Hurricanes...Fires...
I think Mother Nature is trying to tell us something. Our time abusing and using her has lasted too long. She's fed up and out to teach us a lesson. The thing about nature is humans have no control. That's a very hard concept to accept especially if you are a control freak such as myself. I am no good in chaotic situations and I'm the first to admit it. The slightest trouble abounds and my heart starts pounding, I can't breath, I start hyperventillating, tears start running from my eyes, and I'm a blubbering mess. (I'm not wimp, I just don't do well in stressful situations, leave me alone.) Anyways, my "husband" and I have given ourselves distinct titles within our relationship. I'm am organized chaos and he is chaos organized. I like to make sure everything is set up right from the beginning. If I take certain steps to organize i.e. prevent chaos then I won't have to deal with anything too bad. He, on the other hand, doesn't spring to action until the situation is so upset and chaotic that I'm on the verge of pulling my hair out, in which he moves me to the side and takes over. It works for us.

Me, being organized chaos, its hard to sit back and watch the news, 1,000s killed during earthquake in Pakistan, 100s die in northeastern flooding, 1,000s of acres lost to wild fires in the West. I watch, I pray, yet there is nothing that I can physically do to prevent anything from happening. Yeah, I can recycle, carpool, protest the cutting down of the rainforest but that's stuff has been going on for years yet global warming is getting worse. I wonder everyday when mama nature will bestow her wrath upon me. Will it be a earthquake, a tornado, a hurricane, or fire. So I decided along with prayer, that I'm going to celebrate nature this weekend. In my own personal way I'd like to let mother nature know I understand, I feel her pain, I know what it's like to be abused and I will do my part to help her. I know that nothing I do can change the fact that weather lately has been out of sorts but it will give me peace of mind. And with a peaceful mind, you can weather any storm.

Check you on Monday

Peace.

The Lottery

2005-10-12T22:49:00.000-07:00

$290 Million!

I'm not a regular lottery player. Do you think I have a chance?

Better than fiction

2005-10-12T11:11:00.000-07:00

Missing in Action

I wouldn't exactly say I was missing in action, missing in boredom is more like it. The only action I've had this week is watching maintenance tear off the wood paneling on my apartment and anxious wait to see what the new siding is going to look like. That was until this morning.

My mornings start early now with my "husband's" job starting at 6 am and us sharing one car. So I dropped him off a work and headed back home to sleep for a little while longer, approximately 45 mins but any sleep helps. So around 7:45, late as usual I roll out of the house and on to work, the daily grind. But I hear a noise, I feel the steering wheel jerk and next thing I know I feel rim and concrete. Yes, I got a flat tire. No, big deal right. WRONG! For one I'm a girl, a girly girl. Do I know how to change a tire? No. I've watched people change them several times but I wasn't about to try and do it myself especially considering I was on a slight incline. So I pulled out my phone to call my Trusty AAA service. Much to my dismay my cell phone was tripping I couldn't make outgoing calls. I could receive them but I couldn't make them. A lame service issue I found out about after I signed a year contract with a provider which will remain nameless (it beings with a T) Anyways, I'm stressed. No phone, messed up car. I start walking plotting my next step. I'm not that far from home, not too far from a gas station but I wasn't sure I wanted to leave my beloved vehicle alone and defenseless on the nice suburban street where two blocks down the middle school kids were waiting for a bus. All of a sudden like a bright beacon of light it appears. My ex-boyfriends house. I hadn't talked to him in months but I had to drive past his house everyday. I'd almost forgot about him but this morning I remembered and promptly headed over to the door. What else was I going to go? Walk. I think not. I see his Lexus parked outside, yes I said Lexus and I start banging on the door, praying he didn't have a girl there. You know how we girls tend to get the wrong idea. Finally, after 10 knocks. The door opens...

To be continued.....

Just kidding. He looks strangely at me with sleep in his eyes. He seems a little confused as I ask to use his phone. So I explain my situation, flat tire, no phone, bad luck, blah blah blah. So he asks usual questions, do you have a spare? You mean the round thing in the trunk? Do you have a jack? A who? Are you talking about that black thing? He laughs at me but walks with me back to my car. He decided after seeing the position my car was in on this hill that we should call AAA. I make the call from his cellphone. Within the hour they tell me. I call my work and tell them I will be late. So I'm standing on the side of the road with my ex-boyfriend. I tell him he doesn't have to wait with me but he insists of course. Then it starts. He knows about my "husband" so he asks Are y'all still together? Are you happy? Don't you want to leave him? I miss you? I can promise you the world, moon, stars now that I don't have you? It's funny how now that we've been apart for almost two years everything in his life is on track. His new house is almost finished being built, he's rolling in a Lexus, business is booming, he's still single (he made sure to toss that one in there). None of that was going on when we were together. It was just a really weird morning. So finally after dodging all his questions by asking how his family was doing and everything the tow truck man shows up. Fixing the tire and sends me on my way. He begs me to keep in touch, I said I would but how could I. I mean, things haven't been perfect with me and my "husband" but I'm not a cheater and I know how I'd feel if he were fraternising (sp?) with his ex.